The material presented
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to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just set my appointment with the attorney to file for divorce. God works in mysterious ways and I prayed for clear vision to see what I needed to see and hear what I needed to hear and boy did he listen. I am proceeding as if AH wasn't sober and no looking back. He is the same controlling, "don't question me' , screwed up in the head man that he was when alcohol was pickling his brain. Hope to be divorced by spring and I am going to start the process of becoming a foster care parent. I feel good!
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
As they say on these boards, "When nothing changes, nothing changes." Sending you lots of ESH right now. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
amen to this!!!! good on you....Being your own best friend.....its self preservation when we decide to get off the marrygoround and take care of us....
I think the only hope that these relationships can work, (being with an alcoholic) is if/when the A gets into AA and really works a strong program...In about 5 years or so, he learns new patterns..new ways to think....new and better thinking patters....but those who are in this situation w/an active A or one who is maybe "dry for now" but not in a strong program, i just don't see any percentages in it.....i stuck w/mine out of financial fear (i was programmed to believe that i was too stupid to take care of me...) now i know i was lied to...i CAN take care of me...I CAN live a decent life.....but I have to reach out and CLAIM what is mine by divine right (a better life)
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Good for you, its much better to stay in reality and let go. You sound clear and determined and not part of the denial game any longer. You can now go from strength to strength. My ex was and still is (as far as I know) sober and he sounded better for a while in the early days but tell him hes not getting his own way and sit back and watch the same old attitude emerge. I chose not to any longer.x
Such good news to read - that you have made a decision, you know it is the best decision you can make for you and that you are following through on it. As much as we would like ourselves, the people in our lives, or our circumstances to be different when we are married - reality shows us that we are who we are, they are who they are, and there is no longer any point in trying to make a mismatch work. Years and years after I did what I knew I had to do to free us both from a vow we made but couldn't keep, I knew that my decision and the resultant actions were the best ones I could make giventhe reality of our lives together. Cheers to you, WOMFI. You made a choice you can live with and you gave it your best for a long, long time.
reality shows us that we are who we are, they are who they are, and there is no longer any point in trying to make a mismatch work. Years and years after I did what I knew I had to do to free us both from a vow we made but couldn't keep, I knew that my decision and the resultant actions were the best ones I could make giventhe reality of our lives together.
ya know, this applies to any relationship......."trying to make a mismatch work"....it just won't happen, and the more i tried, the more resentful and angry/bitter I got....throwing in the towel is the most humane thing i could do for me and for the other, really.....it does not matter what the relationship is, either....i have let go a lot of folks in my life, in real life and on facebook, just bc it was not a match........
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hugs!! I know how hard this is, especially since I'm starting a separation process myself. Stay strong, do some nice things for yourself along the way, too, if you can. We're here for you!
