The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I really wish I had more time to reflect & read more posts. I seem to run out of time before I am truly done. I am still a work in progress. You are all important to me & I value each soul who gets on here. I guess I am a little bit anxious. Maybe it is because I run out of time. I am so sorry that I can't always express how I feel in better terms. Sometimes I feel like I don't make any sense. But, you all assure me that I do. We are all in this boat together. In a book I read it said that we are all like passengers on a sinking ship who have each other to lean on. From the captain to all the passengers, we all help each other not to sink all the way. Does that make sense? Some of you probably know where I quoted that from or should I say out of context & not perfect. I am trying to share w/o the book in front of me.
So, back to my own personal recovery. I am so blessed. My sponsor texted me on Sat. to tell me of a challenge she wants me to try this month. She wants me to write one thing I am grateful for each day. That is 30 days & only one thought of gratitude. I can do that!
The focus always goes back to me but today I am only going to mention my mom once. We finally got to spend some time together sharing a salad. That is one of the only times we have spent together since she has been home. Mind you, we used to spend time together daily. I guess some time is better than no time at all.
I am self-centered & somewhat selfish by nature. My HP is showing me how to get out of myself & put the focus more on others. I am unlike most people I know. They all seem to always focus on others instead of themselves. They do it naturally too. I have to work at it believe it or not.
So, I won't get to down on myself today. The pain is lessening & I am looking forward to a less-painful day. Maybe I won't be pain-free but I will take whatever I can get!
You make a lot of sense and help me with your posts. Thank you. I need the message that I am not alone, and I get inspired by what you and others are doing to help yourselves. I will hopefully be in your shoes someday.
