The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
try so hard to let go of resentment, love the good stuff I learn in recovery yet my mind refuses to let go of crap that keeps me sick I get so sick of my sick mind going over and over negative crap. The positive stuff floats off and the negative stuff seems to be on default setting. God knows I try .
Glad you are sharing!! Are you going to face to face meetings? And if so, do you have a sponsor? The sooner the better, you will see how quickly Al-Anon can save you from yourself...(the negative thinking) Keep coming back! It works if you work it and YOU are worth it!
Yes have had a sponsor to take me through the steps being going solo after that 8 years some times I think nothing has changed I want to be grateful and at peace yet my mind has different ideas and drags me down thanks for reply
Welcome to Miracles in Progress To answer your question, Yes, I have found that the anger, resentment self pity and fear have been lifted. I am glad you are attending meetings, have a sponsor and are working the Steps.
At first I had to work pretty hard to realize this wonderful gift. My sponsor suggested that I stay in the moment and in the day That meant that every time a thought from the past entered my conscious mind I had to use a slogan like, Let go Let God, the Serenity Prayer, Live and Let Live over and over until I was in the moment and the thought had lifted. With determination and hard work I was successful I can remember riding the train to work and praying all the way Wonder of wonders when I arrived I was in a good mood and ready to face the day. I also began to write a daily gratitude and asset list. These lists kept me focused on my life and the positive traits that filled my being.
Lastly the Steps 4 through 12 worked each year, help me to stay honest, keep the old habits at bay and the old anger lifted.
Sharing at meetings and with alanon members is also a great tool
Good job for being honest and real Sab I. We all go through times that are challenging... in what happens to us and our ways of thinking. I too am challenged with having some time in this program and find myself with much more negative thinking that I would like to have. Sound so simple but and Im am sure you have heard a thousand times... But writing gratitude lists... I am grateful for having food, I am grateful I can walk.... (I have been trying to write at least 20 each day) and so on...
Really make me feel better and at least starts my day off with a much more grateful mindset. And I have some pretty good resentments with my spouce but I often forget the good she does too. It is easy to make resentment lists lol... and think of them over and over....lol
But if I write gratitude lists about my life I start seeing the good in her again too. She is more than the mistakes she has made.... and that is big for me to say that.... And in fact if I can forgive her... maybe I can forgive myself for the unkind words I said when i was so hurt...
Ooops sorry didn't mean to make this about me...but all I can say is that for me gratitude lists improve my life experience even if things don't really change on there part.
Hope there is something in my rambling you can use LOL
Be well and again I respect your truthful honesty :)
try so hard to let go of resentment, love the good stuff I learn in recovery yet my mind refuses to let go of crap that keeps me sick I get so sick of my sick mind going over and over negative crap. The positive stuff floats off and the negative stuff seems to be on default setting. God knows I try .
it takes willingness and loads of practice....i meditate and tell my creator I am willing to give up any and all ill will, resentment, revenge, negative energy towards other forms of life and i do it regularly......maybe one of the reasons i love the company of my pets more than most people.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I find that those gremlin thoughts come up so easily, rather strangely I've even noticed them surfacing when things are going well. Or when I'm tired.
For me I've found that it helps to sit quietly with these feelings and acknowledge them. Then I ask myself 'how am I with this thought?'
I think its ok to be angry or resentful if you have been hurt or disappointed. But these feelings are not the feelings that we want to be defined by. Sometimes these feelings are our friends, trying to protect us. Sometimes they are just a bad habit. And sometimes I've used them to feel alive or to justify my self pity.
By looking at myself with my feelings I can begin to realise that my feelings are helping me to identify my boundaries and to question what it is that I can do to look after myself better. I don't have to act on every fantasy that my feelings generate, it is my choice to decide what works best for me.
This type of meditation helped me to feel more empowered because if I did not like the way that I was feeling, and if I stopped looking to others to change my feelings, the next step was 'what can I do?' I was able to choose what I needed to do to feel better in myself - just for today.
Aloha Sab...went to a meeting recently where a member opened the room up to "love and Tolerance" which helped me soooo much with my own mind tussles with resentments. I also had a sponsor who taught me to use "forgiveness" against resentments which also helps when I want it to. Some days I want it to more than other days. ((((Hugs)))) keep coming back.
