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I'm so upset for my A attitude this evening . I went out of my house for first time with a new attitude not to think of what will happen when I got home . I didn't want to think about how I'm gonna handle this childish behavior of my A . I have done nothing wrong I took his advise and went out and if he had a problem with it then he will deal with it himself . I went to a class on self esteem and I left there positive and feel like a made a good day for myself until I came home . My A desided he did not like me gone for 4 hours and wanted to know everything about what's none of his business . He could not control himself went out side to shed started breaking glass scream calling me fowl names and say I have no right to be a mother I do a crap job at it . then walk upstairs and try's to get in my room . It's locked because his tamtrims scare me. Then he calls me on the cell phone and said are you done being in your head if so could you come down stairs please. I said yes when I'm comfortable going down there I will then proceeds to call me controlling b.. I no I should care what he says about me but it hurts to know I'm trying and getting out there doing it . He says your face and make up make u look cheap your hair is all screwed up so what did u learn today or what didn't you learn today . I found out what happen with his job and it's his fault his addict impulse cost him his job and our health care mind you we are all in treatment and have cancer . He said well looks like your gonna die with no meds arnt you this time u can go work and I will sit home and do nothing . Yes I'm trying to get this sick man away from mei giving him so many chances to stop ruling me now it's gone to the extream tonight he very angry I will not battle with him . The insulting comments he texted me will be show to my health care provided because he is playing with my mind and this is not a healthy man I don't care if it's not for me to judge but if he is infront of me how can I not see this is true . Staying away makes him more angry
Rosemary It is good that you went out to the class on self esteem and also have placed a lock on your room. Not reacting to his insanity is the first and most important action that you can take, Recite the serenity prayer when he is at his worse and know that you can always call 911 if you feel in danger.
Most of all take care of yourself and your children you are not alone
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 24th of October 2013 01:56:27 PM
What a great idea to go to the self help group, it sounds as though you enjoyed it.
As for the reaction when you got home - oh boy - congratulations, you must have done something right!
As far as I could tell when AH was performing in his heyday if I got something right for me then he would jump right off the deep end. Once I cottoned on to this, it made it so much easier to ignore the resulting tantrums.
You do not deserve to feel threatened in your own home. I'm with hotrod, 911 is a good number to call if there is breaking glass going on.
The other thing I did was to set up a hotel fund for myself so that when I felt threatened at home I would go and check into somewhere nicer (and I made sure to pick a halfway decent hotel so that I could enjoy the experience).
Take care of you and your children.
Oh man, that's all too crazy. Keep 911 on your speed dial. Teach your kids, too, that 911 is their friend. He is verbally and emotionally abusive and that is a scary thing.
He's just a man. Nothing more. Keep on going to your classes if it feels like your HP is guiding you to them. You don't have to JADE doing what is healthy for you.
Rosemary It is good that you went out to the class on self esteem and also have placed a lock on your room. Not reacting to his insanity is the first and most important action that you can take, Recite the serenity prayer when he is at his worse and know that you can always call 911 if you feel in danger.
Most of all take care of yourself and your children you are not alone
I SO agree with this.....when in a toxic relationship one must must NOT pick up the rope they toss out at ya so they can yank u arund some more......I would not engage him, not reply/respond to him, and yes....911 if u feel in danger...also i would become aware of the nearest domestic violence shelter in case u have to bail.....
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 24th of October 2013 01:55:37 PM
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Oh man, that's all too crazy. Keep 911 on your speed dial. Teach your kids, too, that 911 is their friend. He is verbally and emotionally abusive and that is a scary thing.
Take care of yourself.
I like what MJ says here.............I remember when i used to live like this growing up........omg......I am sooo thankful to creator that I never will live like this again............i walked away from all the toxicity and i am sooo relieved......and as mj says "take care of yourself"
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I'm so upset for my A attitude this evening . I went out of my house for first time with a new attitude not to think of what will happen when I got home . I didn't want to think about how I'm gonna handle this childish behavior of my A . I have done nothing wrong I took his advise and went out and if he had a problem with it then he will deal with it himself . I went to a class on self esteem and I left there positive and feel like a made a good day for myself until I came home . My A desided he did not like me gone for 4 hours and wanted to know everything about what's none of his business . He could not control himself went out side to shed started breaking glass scream calling me fowl names and say I have no right to be a mother I do a crap job at it . then walk upstairs and try's to get in my room . It's locked because his tamtrims scare me. Then he calls me on the cell phone and said are you done being in your head if so could you come down stairs please. I said yes when I'm comfortable going down there I will then proceeds to call me controlling b.. I no I should care what he says about me but it hurts to know I'm trying and getting out there doing it . He says your face and make up make u look cheap your hair is all screwed up so what did u learn today or what didn't you learn today . I found out what happen with his job and it's his fault his addict impulse cost him his job and our health care mind you we are all in treatment and have cancer . He said well looks like your gonna die with no meds arnt you this time u can go work and I will sit home and do nothing . Yes I'm trying to get this sick man away from mei giving him so many chances to stop ruling me now it's gone to the extream tonight he very angry I will not battle with him . The insulting comments he texted me will be show to my health care provided because he is playing with my mind and this is not a healthy man I don't care if it's not for me to judge but if he is infront of me how can I not see this is true . Staying away makes him more angry