The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Oh boy !! Some ppl told me I was a double winner I was like what's . They said you have brains and beauty use them!! I noticed I do a lot of my powerful positive posting when I'm in the cemetery . When I'm lost the cemetery is where I walk to find myself and clear my head. I think what I love the most about the cemetery is that I'm never alone , I'm walking with my higher power and gathering up all the energy that is here in the cemetery . I like knowing I can talk to any one here and they listen and don't judge me or tell me to HUSH.. I even have my own little space where I will sit of course with respect and not on a plot. Also that I feel safe . Back in the day if u were seen talking to your self anywhere you were considered crazy .. Today that's the norm if you don't talk to you self then your not living .. I been recapping some of my positive post and can't believe how positive it was . I can't believe I wrote it, so I go back to read my positive post daily and take my own advise, I took a look at my self in the mirror today and I saw a cute blonde that had a mouth and the ability to talk and smile and laught. That invisible person I use to see is gone..,, I been practiceing a lot to not depart from my body , I don't need to do that anymore I guess that was a easy way for me to run away from the situation happing at the time . I check my self out and regain my body again when it was safe. I don't visit my head any more, it's closed I'm not welcome there it's in total shut down , only good things can go in my ears to my brain where the all the positive is stored . I don't allow myself to be negative any more there's no room plus I changed my filter to so that's clean ;)) . I had my eyes checked again today and have my right prescribed lenses put on . I see only clear one route to walk . I'm out if that fog that's been keeping me back my whole life and there's no puddles where I walk so there's no pity in my way. My purpose and goal in life is to be me and happy and free to make a good desition and if I chose bad one oh well acknowledge it learn by it write it down and toss it out. Live and learn something I never had !!! Today I'm grateful for the clean air I breath for the sun shining on my face to be able to smile and say oh well that didn't hurt much . I been reborn today I am given that chance I been waiting for along time . When I'm in the cemetery that's where I walk with my higher power that's where I get my daily dose of energy . But for now on when I leave I'm taking my higher power with me !!! He hasn't left me behind , I left him (god) behind waiting for me to come back here to visit him. . I guess what I'm trying to say I'm tired about talking about the drink I'm tired about wonder if A is dry or still a little wet . Who cares !! It's not up to me to make sure he cared for , he not my kid ;/ he is on his own now . He chose to drink and mess up and he chose to get sober and clean up . I no longer feel the need to pick up the left overs anymore, that's not my job , my job is to make sure my path to freedom and happiness and healthy choice of living is clean free of the trash . The only thing I do is carry a bag with me and when I have something that's not good I toss it in my own bag and no one needs to clean up after me. I'm responsible for ROSEMARY . I clean my own side of the street no one needs to walk in my pity no one should . If you'll could see me right now sitting in my spot my home where my higher power is with me and the sun shinning in my eyes that I use to cover up . I feel wonderful happy and I'm happy today to be me , and yes I will still have my seat in Alaon with my name on it waiting for me , I will always have Alaon in my life and when I graduate from co dependency I want to be healthy enough to work the board along with the best of you all . Hot rod thank you for sharing the hope with me and feeding me with good things to go on . And still welcoming to come back . I'm accepted here . Every one on this sight gave me a new start, a new chapter called co depency NO more.. Thank you all
(((Ms Co-dependent))) What a beautiful post! We support each other by sharing our journeys; but it is you who is gifting yourself a new start and a healthier way of thinking. Glad you're here.
Yay Rosemary....That helped me remember the smile I got on my face when I realized the program was working for me also. You continue to go girl. In support. (((((hugs)))))
What a powerful honest message. It was filled with such determination and self knowledge Reading your post brought tears of happiness to my eyes. HP is certainly filling your spirit with such Wisdom, Courage and Grace.
I do so understand the tool of "Leaving the body" and then returning when I felt it safe. It was a destructive tool I used as a child. It seemed to work then but did not serve me as an adult. I replaced that negative tool with gratitude lists and asset lists so I could clearly see myself and value me as a person. I am so pleased to see you are doing the same
I remember those first posts by you and the hurt, pain and confusion you had inside. WOW.....you have so made great strides in your recovery and I so much enjoyed your post today. What a change you have made in taking charge of your life.
You are a big winner girl......
(((( hugs ))))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
