The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was waiting at a stoplight this afternoon. I was rear-ended so hard my vehicle was pushed a few feet forward nearly missing traffic moving at 55 mph to 60 mph. the man who hit me - you guessed it - was high. Tried to convince me my vehicle was fine and to take off. I told him he'd have to stay. I was calling police. He ranted. He raved. He called somebody yelling that the "white man" wouldn't let him leave. I talked to two different dispatchers as cars moved around us, yelled at me, while he moved and blocked the right hand turn lane. Today was the hot rod convention. The street I used is normally almost traffic free. Not today. Lines and lines of cars able to move only into the left turn lane. I was in the center. My back hurt. The man who hit me was getting more and more heated. I stayed in my vehicle. I was not going to get out with him. Finally, as I suspected, he took off. I was able to see his plates - white paper/hand-written. Finally, a deputy showed up. Asked if I could drive the vehicle. I didn't know because I didn't know how much damage. He told me to go ahead and cross the intersection. We parked in a credit union parking lot. Gave all the information. Deputy told me they'd ran a check on the plate. Nothing. When I described the plate, he told me it was one the sheriff's office issued to people who had their license suspended or shouldn't be driving.
Of course, I wasn't surprised. When asked if I needed an ambulance, I said no. My back hurt and I was in shook up but if I could drive, I would just go home. The deputy said, "You sure don't act shook up." I said, "Well, I am." He said, "You should see people and how they behave after something like you just went through. They are total wrecks." I smiled. We shook hands. He promised to try to find the guy. Of course, they won't. Third time I've been rear-ended and the driver took off before they had to experience a consequence. My vehicle's rear end is in bad shape although the driver tried to convince me there was no damage and was angry because I didn't believe him.
The not being a wreck is a credit to this program. As harrowing as this experience was - especially with the wild man screaming and yelling and trying to convince me I was "out to get him" because of his race - never mind that he rear-ended me at 30 mph and could have pushed me into fast moving traffic - I was able to remain at least outwardly calm - enough to impress the deputy.
Sometimes, it is good to have these kinds of things happen - just to see if we really are working our program. I'm just glad I wasn't pushed into that traffic. Thank God for that. I'm still shook up but I'm not a wreck. I credit our program for that. I credit HP with the outcome. I just hope they catch this guy before he kills somebody and blames it on them.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 04:38:21 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 04:39:09 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 06:30:57 PM
Thanks, Jerry. I'm not meaning the accident was a good thing to happen, how I could handle it was though. At least the police have a chance to catch this guy. If I'd been out of control inside totally, I wouldn't have seen his plates, the type and color of car, what he looked like and I would have gotten out of the car before his agitation grew and grew and could have resulted in something worse for me than the car wreck itself. I'm also willing to look at what didn't happen - being pushed into fast-moving traffic which happened in part because I had the presence of mind to keep my foot slammed down hard on the brake upon impact. My program helped me stay in the moment as much as I could and to stay alert to what I needed to do to protect myself and give the best description I could to the police. Had the police moved more quickly - they could have caught him. He stayed next to my car in his for a good 7 to 8 minutes. Two police cars passed us on the left. One came later but got caught up in the traffic lines behind me about 3 minutes after the guy took off on the highway. The dispatcher didn't get the model of the car right although I had repeated it twice over the phone. The second dispatcher was nasty. The plate # that I repeated twice, the deputy thought I'd mis-read it until I repeated it and what it looked like. He then realized it was their own plate. So, I'd say I worked a pretty good program today. Kept my focus. Didn't react to bad behavior. Did what was necessary to do. Didn't get nasty back with the dispatcher. Gave a good description. Wouldn't move my vehicle even though a ton of cars insisted I do when I knew I couldn't until the deputy came and could assess the damage. I didn't want to get caught up on this highway with folks running red lights, too. That's my story. I'm stickin' to it.
Rose: I'm glad it wasn't worse than it was, too. I do hope they catch this crazy addict.
Cathy: Thanks for your support, too.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 05:17:22 PM
Thanks, B, N & H: I will go to the doctor tomorrow (well, Prompt Care) if things heat up. Right now, I'm just giving my body time to recover from the shock of impact and my choice to keep my foot hard on the brake to offset the danger of being shoved into traffic. I know back & hip injuries can go on for years and hopefully this won't be true in my case. I appreciate your concern and your encouragement. My cats just looked at me when I got home. They simply couldn't understand what I tried to tell them about my day. My daughter and grandson are gone for the weekend. So, its nice to have somebody to share my experience with tonight who cares and won't just mew. Smile.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 06:28:26 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 13th of September 2013 06:33:40 PM
Thank God you are okay. You handled that so well - I can't say I would have kept my cool. I sure hope they catch that guy before someone gets seriously hurt.
I have heard that the Al-Anon program helps us in all aspects of our lives. "It works if you work it"
Oh my Gosh.... I'm so so sorry. Thank God your OK. I pray your going to be OK and nothing is wrong with your neck or back being hit @ 30MPH. You make sure OK. The vehicle can be fixed you can't so easily.
I had a drunk driver run a red light and broadside me going about 40. Took the back axle completely from my car and spun me around at least twice. Wasn't pleasant to say the least. But God was with me I'm sure. Hit towards the back of the vehicle instead into the drivers door.
Take care and pray he will be caught.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
"Sometimes, it is good to have these kinds of things happen - just to see if we really are working our program." Uh No...I know that often we don't get choices and getting your body hurt and harmed by a perp like this isn't one of them. Neither is a false arrest and assault by the police. My program is my program and my druthers are that justice comes along in full measure to how I was harmed. Others are going to be treated the same way. Sorry your back got hurt Grateful...I know what that's like...just going to lay down and take care of mine for a while also. (((hugs)))
OMG...(((((((((((((((((((((((((((G))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) SO glad U R ok.....and I am concerned re: the back and possible neck............So sorry this happened to you
and NO, I don't think we need THIS kind of thing to show we are working our program, LOL...LOVE your sense of humour,
I hope they get the guy, he has to have sig. damage to his front end, but probably they wn't catch him....DANG!!!!!
I wasn't going to come over here, was gonna take a nap and I see you and had to check up and OMG...I am just amazed at how folks can get ranting and raving and its HIS fault
He probably was high, U R probably right.....
I am just SO glad U R not squashed in the hospital somewhere....Thank God for that....
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I'm glad it wasn't even worse; please continue to take care of your back and seek help if you find you're experiencing increasing discomfort over the next few days.
So glad that you were not seriously hurt. I agree alanon tools do help me to stay calm in a crisis but it does not mean I am not in need of assistance.
Please be gentle with yourself and consider seeing a Professional.
OK g2b. you just described the 'accident' that disabled me for the last 17 years. i also thought at the time i was okay and drove home. about 5 hours later i started having weird electricity type sensations in my right hand which i just blew off as the expected aches and pains from getting rear-ended at a stoplight. it was a memorial day weekend so i didnt give it much more thought then on the following tuesday i told my anesthesiologist buddy about it and he sent me for tests and i had a hairline fracture of the vertebrae and other bones in the neck and low back. well 12 ruptured discs and fractures later i was totally disabled. do not assume anything and get thee to the ER and an mri machine post haste! maybe you wont have the same outcome i did. But if you wait it could be permanent. nerve damage is forever. if you have small fractures or ruptured or herniated disks the spinal cord and nerves can be damaged. dont mean to scare you but boy i wish i hadnt just gone home when it happened to me. i suppose i was lucky, the guy who ran into me was so impaired he never even applied his brakes and he just sat behind the wheel nodding off. a 3 yo was in the front seat with him and it was definitely an act of God that she didnt die. catching him means nothing for you since he wont have insurance if they find him and if he's driving on a flagged plate he probably wont exactly be rolling in the dough so getting his behind in jail isnt going to help you if you have injuries. retribution on wrongdoers does not buy us peace or health but maybe s/he will do some time and as a result get help in the program which is what needs to happen so some other person doesnt get hurt or die which is the best outcome, right? my guy pled out and did 18 months. didnt help me though for him to go to jail except it offered me the opportunity to be compassionate towards the alcoholic/addict who suffers from this disease. i needed to be sure his actions had consequences to help others and maybe push him along the path to recovery.
So much suffering for you thanks to the nut behind the wheel. I'm waiting until Saturday to see how I feel in the morning. If I'm more than a little sore, I'll go. I don't expect any recompense from this guy. I know he ran because he didn't want to go to jail for doing everything the law says he can't do. Thanks for your concern and for sharing your experience with me.
I'm sorry Grateful. I didnt mean to sound so preachy. Didnt realize it until after i hit the post button. Glad you feel fine. I really need to learn to keep the lip zipped since i'm so good at hoof in mouth disease.
You sounded concerned to me. I don't have a lot of confidence in the medical profession in our area - especially those who do orthopedics and back injury care. I'd rather go to my chiropractor before I trust myself to the medical profession here. Hopefully, I will awaken tomorrow and just be a little sore. If not, I'll take it from there. Thanks for your share. I understand your concern based on your own experience. You were sharing your experience with me. I appreciate that.
You sounded concerned to me. I don't have a lot of confidence in the medical profession in our area - especially those who do orthopedics and back injury care. I'd rather go to my chiropractor before I trust myself to the medical profession here. Hopefully, I will awaken tomorrow and just be a little sore. If not, I'll take it from there. Thanks for your share. I understand your concern based on your own experience. You were sharing your experience with me. I appreciate that.
Hey "G" please check in with us tomorrow and let us know how U feel......the day after is when u notice how bad or not so bad you got "crunched"......I agree re: medical profession....took me a long time to find a doc. that I like..... but really.....let us know how u r doing tomorrow........really sorry this happened to you, but also on the other hand, glad U got out of it in 1 piece...........
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Managed health care is NOT an improvement over traditional health insurance of years gone by. I'm just glad I can enroll in a Medicare plan that the doctor I do trust will accept. But that won't happen for another several months. Until then, I'm keeping my fingers crossed about my health. If I am truly injured, I will probably be referred to the insurance company's preference if treatment is needed. And their preference NEVER agrees with mine. I'm just grateful that I've been a really healthy gal with very little need for physicians since high premiums and network doctors became a reality. I hope sharing my individual opinion on an outside matter isn't inappropriate for this board. I know it is for a meeting, but I don't think it is for MIP message board.
can you guys help me out and explain how i initiate pm with someone? i figured out to reply when someone pm's me, just dont know who to do the initiating.
The Al-anon programme can certainly work 'in all our affairs' the tools we pick up on our journey are always going to be at our disposalworks if we work ityour calmness and awareness are a testament to this .
Take good care of yourself Grateful, when the shock wears off the bruising kicks in!! be gentle with yourself.
(((Grateful)))) - so glad that you are okay!! Take care to follow up about your injuries. This was an incredible story\post; I am so sorry for the experience, but inspired by your reactions and serenity in facing them.
Thanks, Ness, for the insights and for the affirmation on the program results. I was hit yesterday about 5 pm, so I'm giving this ole body of mine about 24 hours to see what it has to tell me about its shape today.
Thanks, Runnerchick, on the concern, the feedback, and the affirmation, too.
I do hope your day is filled with the same affirmation and kindness you have extended to me.
Thanks, N. I was just remembering your request to update you and here you are!!!!!! Although my neck is a little stiff and my back and hips a little sore, its been more than 24 hours and I think I can avoid a trip anywhere I really didn't want to go. Thanks for asking and thanks for the hug.
Just an aside regarding Insurance In my State ,the Auto insurance Company has the primary responsibility if the injury is the result of an auto accident.
That's true in my State, too. I will have to go under the organization's insurance since I was driving our vehicle when I was hit. I'm sure this guy has no auto insurance and fled the scene because he had other issues as well - to include being drunk or high.
