The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hey, Lyne: Good you drove past the winery and continued on to your destination and didn't scream, yell, or lecture on the way from what I can see? Good for you. I can remember driving my dry for 2 years, clean and sober for 1 year son (to my knowledge) somewhere multiple years ago. He'd been doing so well. We came to a light at a downtown intersection. I stopped for red. Bars lined the streets. My son said, "I'm going to get out here." He had no way back to my house where he was living at the time but on foot because I lived at least another 5 miles away from that intersection. I felt sick inside. I knew exactly why he wanted to get out. I said: "A - I don't think this is a good idea." "See ya, Mom." He got out.
I drove home and called my sponsor. Heartsick - knew I didn't have control - knew I was powerless over the disease and my son's choices. Helped myself deal with how I was feeling. Prayed he'd change his mind and not go into the bar - against the parole board's restrictions and against the AA recovery guides.
That was the beginning of his quick return to drugged and drunken behavior. It was not my quick return to pre-Alanonic behavior. Over that I did have some control. Keep on, keeping on, Lyne. You are doing so well with your own recovery program.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 24th of August 2013 11:06:15 AM
Hi-A spouse and I are away. I've put my guard down 1/100th since she has joined recovery and admitted to me she has a drinking problem and will not be drinking. This was a miracle and great news to me (and for her). So we are driving to our destination and pass a winery. She said, let's go-that would be fun. Hence, I was cracked in the head with a board. I felt my blood starting to boil and then got a grip on myself. I did discuss this with her later that if one has stopped drinking one does not go to a winery. Also, is she committed to her program or not? Then I stopped with the questions. She is new to recovery and guess what? I am powerless over her thinking and behavior. I am OK and I will continue with my own recovery and she has to make her own decisions. I did not stay mad because I now know that I can and will be OK. My HP is with me every step of the way. Lyne (oh yes, and you guys )
Old patterns and old habits die hard. You on the other hand pulled in your alanon tools and did well. You said what you meant and meant what you said, did not say it mean and then LET IT GO
Hi my partner has been sober for a year and I have slowly detached from his recovery ha ha but now and again I slip I Sam finishing my step study soon and he is not workin the steps with a sponsor although he goes to lots of meeting want I him to get wot I am getting but it's just mug controlling rearing its head I am handing him over gods will is good my will doesn't work hugs Tracy xxx
It sounds like you handled that situation very well and with strong tools. So difficult to put into practice sometimes that idea of only being able to change OUR behavior--I so want to be in charge! haha...no thanks!
It's amazing how how far we all actually progress with the help and support of Al-anon and MIP.. el-cee I also can say WOW Lyne what a difference there is in your posts. It's just so wonderful to see the miracles on this board.
You've come a long way....and a BIG HUG my friend you made me smile
((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
)
. You on the other hand pulled in your alanon tools and did well. You said what you meant and meant what you said, did not say it mean and then LET IT GO