The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't feel like a normal person anymore. I am consumed with monitoring my AH and I can't stop. I want him to leave but the thought of him leaving causes me panic attacks. We have been together 15 years. At times he has been violent, verbally abusive and he has had times of sobriety and than the lying and sneaking start. He went to a rehab a few months ago, but I still don't trust him. He is texting and calling female co-workers. Last week he got a text from one that she couldn't live without him.
I can't even clear my mind for 5 minutes. I feel like I have gone crazy and lost myself. I worry if we separate will I ever be able to trust people again. I worry I am going to become a recluse and have no human interaction. I currently don't have any friends at all, not even 1. My whole life was this man. I am afraid to do anything. I have been a shell of a person for a while now.
-- Edited by jlynn77854 on Saturday 24th of August 2013 12:56:01 AM
when you say violent, has he hit you??? threatened you??? U can get him arrested for that OR if you have to quickly leave to protect yourself, there are domestic violence shelters in most major cities who can help you with the restraining orders, shelter, protection measures, legal advise they can help you get started AND even tell you where alanon meetings are being held in your area
if he is NOT a danger, I would still...absolutely get into alanon meetings near me and go every day to take care of me...and from there you can find a sponsor to guide you with the 12 steps and the other wonderful aspects of this program that , to me, is a saving grace....This program...Alanon is absolutely crucial to your getting back on your feet, emotionally and mentally.....there is absolutely no need to have to sit and suffer with all the alanon meets around...
Also I urge you to just leave him be...I would not monitor him, check up on him, I would let it go b/c there is nothing you can do about him , anyway, your only hope is to take care of you and get YOU healthy....You didn't cause this, you cannot control this, and you cannot cure this...You can only help yourself....
Let us know how you are doing ok????
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I can't even clear my mind for 5 minutes. I feel like I have gone crazy and lost myself. I worry if we separate will I ever be able to trust people again. I worry I am going to become a recluse and have no human interaction. I currently don't have any friends at all, not even 1. My whole life was this man. I am afraid to do anything. I have been a shell of a person for a while now.
-- Edited by jlynn77854 on Saturday 24th of August 2013 12:56:01 AM
JK, I promise you, alanon meetings can change this....yea, I felt crazy, too, until I came here...When you learn , in alanon meets and the step work, to trust yourself first, you will be able to trust again, it will take time...I had to put ME FIRST.....everything else, came after....I URGE you to find a meeting near you and go...Every day if you can...I swear...It changed me big time
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Welcome to Miracles in Progress. I am so glad that you reached out and shared your pain and true honest feelings. Alcoholism is a dreadful progressive disease over which we are powerless. We did not cause it cannot control it, and cannot cure it. We who live with he disease need a program of recovery because we loose ourselves in an effort to change the other person and we become angry and unreasonable without any new tools to live by.
Alanon is the program of recovery that was founded by the wife of the founder of AA She too felt as you do and developed the program to help family members. Alanon has face to face meeting in most communities and can be found by calling the hot line number in the white pages. Attending meetings, breaking the isolation, connecting with others who understand, developing new tool to help me keep the focus on myself all worked to reestablish my self esteem and courage.
Welcome to MIP! I echo the posts before me- Al-Anon is there for you to help you move the focus to you. It saved many of us and can offer hope to you too. Sending you much support right now. Your self-awareness is the first step in getting help- FOR YOU!
