The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went back and looked at all my old "start topics" yesterday. Most depressing to say the least... well at first it was. Then I realized. As i remember my emotional state behind my every post. from being a "first timer" to the middle to now. I realize that I am better, Though my AH behaviours havent changed. I find more venting by myself on here and just having a comfort considering you guys my friends I can talk to without judgement. When i first came here (alanon). I was hyserical A LOT, my mind in chaos with my life falling apart or waiting for the next thing to make it fall apart. Alcohol and AH controlled my parenting, moods, happiness my life. Now I am able to not let the chaos take over my brain, the this too will pass, weather good times or bad, doesnt send me to an anxiety attack. My counselor (specialty in alcohol and drug addictions and family effects) has helped me apply my tools to my parenting and has helped my son and myself to be able to talk about everything. And my son will even say (he's 8) well, we cant make dads choices for him. And he moves on too.
So even though I slip, or get exhausted at times from this disease.. I dont have any violence in my life anymore. I dont allow "craziness" to take over.
Thank you all for not being judgemental, and for not being frustrated when I move backward in MY recovery.
My HP blessed me when I goggled this site years ago.
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..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
Sweetr, We have all walked similar paths...sometimes we need a wider path to accompany our team of support, and, other times, it is just wide enough for us and our HP. What is most important is we keep walking. Thank you for your post....
I had a similar experience about a week and a half ago--I went through all the posts I started since coming here and was able to see an overall progression, which was extremely helpful because when you are just working on it every day it's hard to see the progress sometimes, you know?
I agree that HP was looking out when this site was brought to me and all of us.
Awesome! I went back and read in some of my journals and it was so sad to see how I spiraled and held on to what I knew and wrestled with letting go and letting God, but when I did, I smiled reading the changes. I am so glad you can see your own recovery and just how far you have come. Keep up the good work!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Ditto what Betty says...What goes around comes around...what you give you get...You are a piece in our recovery puzzle also...Mahalo Sweeetr for staying. ((((hugs))))
