The material presented
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Dasiy21 STOP ! I'm telling you those "other moms who have it all together" DON'T . They really don't. I compared myself to those other moms too. I wasted the good years comparing myself. I'm an introvert too. It's okay to be an introvert too.
Yes, others moms are always more fun. (sarcastic) Always. My girls are 18 and 17. I was telling a mom of my girls friend last week. " The girls had so much fun at your house, they said you are so nice. Thank you for having them and making them feel so welcome."
Her response:
"Everyone else's mom is always so much nicer. My daughter says the same about you".
Love those boys the way you show love. Just by being present. You don't have to be entertaining them and giving. Just be present.
Be well,
PS YAHOO, school starts here this week too. :D
-- Edited by hisimage on Sunday 18th of August 2013 11:30:16 PM
Am I the only one who is looking forward to their kids going back to school? I have been trying to work my program this summer but it has been SO hard to gain peace with having 2 boys at home all the time. One of my sons is special needs and demands attention all the time and I constantly have to keep an eye on him or he may do something really bad. He also gets so angry due to his disorder. My house is so destroyed and I am living in clutter. When school is going I have every afternoon to clean and relax and take car of me. I don't know how to manage it all. I barely get breaks because my son has anxiety so he now has to be with me all the time. I am also an introvert and so my energy levels are not as high as others. I feel like I want to enjoy these years with my kids but I am feeling like I am just tired all the time - I also compare myself to other moms who seem to have it all together. I need more joy. Has anyone felt these feelings and how can I get my bounce back? I want my boys to have a mom who is fully engaged and in the moment with them. Sometimes they tell me I am boring and they make fun of me but then I hear other moms who say that it is normal for their kids to act like they don't like them.
__________________
It is very difficult to have a pity party when I am celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!
It will aither work out, . . . or, . . . It will work out."
Tired is a word I think most Moms with kids say they feel. I'm also an introvert. I like to stay up late. I had to train myself to go to bed early so I could get up at 5:00 a.m. - two hours before my kids got up - to have the time I needed to be alone to pray, reflect, be at peace. My son was probably a special needs kid, but in his growing up years, there really wasn't anything other than speech therapy that was ever talked about. That and ADD which required giving my child drugs after a 15 minute consult with a therapist that I wasn't willing to give him because it hadn't been used for at least 20 years. 5 years after saying no to the drug it was determined that my State was dispensing that drug more often than any other State in the nation and an investigation was launched into the over-dispensing of it on a routine basis. I discovered that having that 2 hours in the morning all to myself made my life richer and more peaceful. I'm not saying it will work for you, but it did work for me. And - I don't know one Mom who had it all together. They just did the best they could with what they had to work with at the time.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 19th of August 2013 05:26:10 AM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 19th of August 2013 05:44:29 AM
Quantity is not better than Quality IMO - I used to think it had to be both. I'm starting to see that even if I go to a meeting and I hear not even one single person with a solution based share - it's STILL A BREAK! I always come home feeling better and more refreshed - and even if it only lasts a few hours, or even a few minutes after I get home... it was still one full hour (and the drive time) to myself.
I hope you have options for sitters and make it a priority to get out and fill your tank so you have something to give.
When it gets overwhelming for me - I don't feel bad at all about letting my kids play some educational games on the ipad - or watch PBS kids or something to distract them for 30 minutes of much needed peace and quiet for ME! I'm also a big fan of mom swaps - and taking my kids to the park with a friend so I can talk to another adult. Not sure how old your kids are... but other people are ALWAYS more interesting than Mom when you're with them all the time... and frankly... I have to admit... other people's kids even get more interesting than mine when I'm with mine non stop. It's not healthy to NOT have a variety of people/experiences/places/things - and balance with all of that IMO. Getting bored of each other is normal - and not admitting it or facing those feelings or feeling bad for having them... is not a fun place to be. Post your desire for mom swaps with other moms who have special needs kids on Craigslist - I had a great response there. I also used the local free paper with local events and started a fun music group for at home moms that allowed me to make a lot of friends and also my kids got socialization and experienced the old fashioned musical games I played as a kid.
I am looking forward to the start of school - and of course I love my kids to the moon! You're normal and right on for sharing your true thoughts. Bravo!
It is so nice to know that I am not the only mom who feels this way. I guess I just feel like I really didn't enjoy this summer at all. There were a few times where I was happy but the majority of it was just so challenging and so hard. I have had a friend tell me that when the kids are young it is going to be like this but things will change. And I know that is true. I wish I had some friends in alanon who had young kids. I know it sounds like I am complaining but it has been SO hard to work my program this summer and I have been really negative but it is because I have felt like completely buried with everything. I guess that this is life. I must have had expectations that I was going to be this "together mom" with well behaved kids and my house would be clean enough for us to find things.
I am sure it will get better. I think that I am going to get a job outside the home next summer LOL :) Seriously!
__________________
It is very difficult to have a pity party when I am celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!
It will aither work out, . . . or, . . . It will work out."
I don't know about you, Daisy, but secretly - in my early adult life, I thought I'd do a better job with raising my kids than my Mom did. HP showed me a whole new reality when my not so well behaved kids had a not altogether Mom in a house that sometimes had clean laundry mixed with the dirty as I worked 2 to 3 jobs trying to earn a living and still be super Mom at the same time. Had to let something go. Housework was it at times.
Had a friend - without kids - show up one day in my younger years - who displayed obvious displeasure at my house not being totally spic and span with everything in its place. I had just gotten in from a long weekend away doing service work while my kids spent the weekend with their Dad in another State that I had dropped off on a Friday and picked back up on a Sunday in time to get them into baths and bed. Suitcases were in the livingroom. Dishes from Friday were still in dishwasher. Kids were grouchy and didn't want to bathe or go to bed. I'm trying to keep a happy face on and stay calm. Mr. I think I know how you should do your life hadn't even been invited when he showed up for me to listen to his life while I was gone. I suggested that if he didn't like the way the house looked, perhaps he'd like to take the dirty clothes and suitcases to the laundry room, do the dishes, bathe the kids, get lunches ready for early morning school bus pick up, run the vacuum, help the kids pick out school clothes - and oh, yes - dust the livingroom furniture and polish the glass. That was the day I stopped trying to be super Mom/super woman. Freeing. My friend never put his two cents worth into how I should keep house again. He knew I'd hand him the cleaning supplies. Grin.
You need a break, Daisy. It's comin'. Keep working your program and keepin' it simple.
