The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"Sanity...a continuous and orderly process of thought"....learned that in the rooms of Al-Anon and it is now my blueprint and filter for when I am and am not in sanity. When I reach sanity I work at practicing what it takes to be and stay there...When I am not I'm making myself available to my HPs...God and the program. I like Betty's feedback for you. Don't wait to get to Arizona to get what you can have now. Prayers for y ou and your son. ((((hugs))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Thursday 1st of August 2013 01:25:42 AM
I have been in Al-Anon for 13 years but it seems that I never get beyond Step 2. My 41 year old son has been living with me since 2005 and been clean for most of the time. However, I should have seen it coming. In March he blew up, destroyed a chair, threw paint all over the kitchen, broke a window, cut himself, etc. I called the police and by the next day had a restraining order put on him. He had many blow-ups in the years he lived with me - broken dishes, holes in walls, doors pulled off hinges, broken phones - the list goes on. I always attributed it to his bi-polar disease. However he also would have slips and use his drug of choice and then be sorry and stop using. This last time, I was sure he was using and confronted him. Talking to him was like talking in circles. I was the ultimate enabler. Everyone could see it but me. I wanted his sobriety more than he did. I helped him get on disability this past year and the money he got was too much for him to handle. He ordered his drugs again and it started all over. Trying to live his life AND mine was exhausting. In 3 weeks I have to go to court - I was subpoenaed by the DA. I am done protecting him. It's time for me to get to Step 3 and turn my life over to my HP.
Welcome to Miracles in Progress. It certainly sounds as if you have been living with the insanity of this disease for a long time. Working the Steps with a sponsor helped me to become unstuck when I encountered a plateau in my program work.
Step 2 states "Came to believe'" that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If you have been attending alanon for 13 years it appears that you believe that alanon is a power greater than yourself and are willing to surrender to the guidance.
Step 3 asks that we make a decision to turn our will over Since most of us have no way of knowing how to do this, making the decision is enough. It is important to move on to Step 4 through 12 where we will discover our stumbling blocks and learn new constructive ways to respond to the insanity of this disease.
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Please keep coming back and I urge you to find a Step Sponsor and proceed in earnest. It works
For the past 5 years or so I have been going to a meeting across the street from my house - actually trying to run it - however few people came. Most of the time it was me waiting for someone to show up. Interesting that I live in a university town where there are so many bars but few people admit they have a problem. I live only 2 blocks from the bars. I didn't want to travel to a meeting since the closest ones were 20 miles away. I finally closed the meeting 6 months ago because I realized that I wasn't getting any experience, strength or hope from long time members. I now drive to at least one meeting a week but thought this forum would give me a meeting between meetings. I am hoping to move to AZ as soon as my house is sold and find a sponsor there. I know I need to do a lot of work to get healthy.
Welcome to MIP. You've received good step guidance from Betty. I'd like to simply extend my hand in greeting. I, too, have a son that won't seek treatment for his alcoholism. He, too, can explode to some degree. I separated myself from him physically several years ago, but the heart is a whole different matter. I have been able to surrender him into his HP's care and myself, too, but that doesn't mean I don't slip from time to time.
As his disease progresses, my need to rework the steps seems greater. It's so easy to slip back into thinking there HAS GOT TO BE A WAY for me to help him each time a new consequence of the disease hits him and affects me. Then, I'm right back at Step 1, having to admit I'm powerless and once again, my emotional life has become unmanageable. I'm really happy for you in that you have stayed the course in Al-Anon. I'm glad you are seeking your HP's care of you and letting HP guide you through this next step in your life towards peace.
