The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, he went to court on Friday for his reckless driving charge. He went alone. His sister acted as his attorney but she wanted him to receive the restrictions he got. He was ordered to install the ignition lock system on his truck so that it will not start unless he is 0.00 BAC. With every failed reading, the time it is on his truck is extended. He also has to attend alcohol abuse classes and alcohol is not to be used at all and he will be undergoing regular scheduled and random testing. If we or catch him drinking even in the privacy of his home, we can turn him in and he will be tested. After so many failed tests, he goes back before the court. This brush with the law has scared the crap out of him. Along with this, he also got a court notice that his hospital bill was being sent to the court because I stopped making the payments when he refused to pay half on HIS hospital bills each month. He has been doing some scrambling to get that taken care of. He has gone back to work and has been showing up regularly for that and for his therapy and AA meetings. He has even gone back to church. It is nice to see him looking healthy and sane again. His therapist feels like this is the best shot at recovery that he has had in a long time because he has sobered up long enough to start getting some of the psychiatric medications into his system that they have wanted to try for a long time. It hurts a little bit to know that his fear of the loss of freedom was more of a motivator to him than the fear of the loss of his family and career/financial security but I really do hope for his recovery or at least a slow down of the spiral that he was in. I have seen a former brother-in-law who was at rock bottom become functional (not totally sober but in control enough to be able to work and live alone again) because of some of these deterrents. We will continue to pray for him and be supportive but stay out of the way of HIS recovery plans while we work on ours.
-- Edited by wornoutmrsfixit on Wednesday 31st of July 2013 09:31:01 PM
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
What a big change from just a few short weeks ago for him. Glad he's taking his meds and there are restraints in place. I understand some of the hurt you feel. I felt that way with my husband at times. I feel that way with my son sometimes, too. Remembering it isn't about me but about a disease that locks them in and pushes me/us away has helped me get back on track, yet I still choose, like you - to honor the feelings of sadness or hurt when they come. They helps to remind me that I am capable of feeling what I feel rather than numbed out as I did before I understood what was happening had nothing to do with me and everything to do with something that truly wasn't due to me. Lots of prayers and support for you and for your family.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 31st of July 2013 09:41:17 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 31st of July 2013 09:41:46 PM
Lots of hugs today to you! That sounds like he has a lot going that's good but also a lot going that takes time and change. Hopefully positive change in the right direction. As my sponsor likes to say, "For today, things are just as they should be" and I work with that saying and remember that for today, things are OK. Or, for today, things aren't good yet I can be patient and know that nothing lasts forever. Either way, it's a reminder to take one day at a time!
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
