The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Life has shifted for me- I am willingly waiting for the pension- in 2 or more years time- but am working and getting dug in to work part time for another ten years.
On my income the pension will be a fair amount of money. I want to fund some regular travel. In my neck of the woods we have sometimes welcomed visitors from overseas. I want to be one of those visitors and have a look around.
My reading for July 23rd is based on a quote from Courage To Change. "Resentments mark the place where I see myself as victim." In the threads around here I have been pointed towards 'making tracks...' taking action.
I have gotten over my victim thoughts- as far as my daily thoughts go. But like most people here, maybe all... there was a time when I was a real victim. I was a scapegoat for other people's hurts. Other people's incomplete lives.
Uploading memories and emotions has taken time, and patience. Today, fairly regularly, as I gaze on something simple, good memories surface as well. I do know i am getting better every day.
Sometimes I have blue days. Sometimes I end up wondering why I ever bother. Sometimes I get annoyed, even angry because I cannot get to the bottom of my woes.
But I recall the first word and the first line in Step 7. The first word is "humbly" and the rest you most likely know. My higher power, our source of help, lets me know when I am ready to move on. All I had to do was 'to been entirely ready'.
Okay- I am ready... now and every waking moment... all I really need to do here is to learn to let go.
Thanks for listening,
David G.
[Apart from the quotes these words are my own... -d.]
Retirement...LOL David G...I say that word only before going to bed and when I wake up, if I wake up and everything is still working after inventory...I ask..."Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". That is my own "simple" version of the 3rd step prayer in agreement with HP on the simple part.
I use to practice "letting go body language". It was easy for me to talk as some already know. So the body language part was standing very still when necessary (necessary being a moment when I had to let go) and placing what it was that I needed to let go of in my up turned palms and then...raising my palms upward as high as I could and then after a moment bringing my open palms back down ...empty. In the past I have found it necessary to do this body language communication in some very open places. Need dictated that I do it as my spirit my mind and my emotions were being stressed by the improbable and impossible. I have done this communication with my HP in crowded shopping malls, in public spaces and within my own private property. Most important part?...bring my hands...palms back empty. When my hands come back empty I no longer can be the victim.
Sometimes I have blue days. Sometimes I end up wondering why I ever bother. Sometimes I get annoyed, even angry because I cannot get to the bottom of my woes
This was helpful for me tonight as I revisit "progress not perfection". Thanks for the share.
Sometimes I have blue days. Sometimes I end up wondering why I ever bother. Sometimes I get annoyed, even angry because I cannot get to the bottom of my woes.But I recall the first word and the first line in Step 7. The first word is "humbly" and the rest you most likely know. My higher power, our source of help, lets me know whn I am ready to move on. All I had to do was 'to been entirely ready'.Okay- I am ready... now and every waking moment... all I really need to do here is to learn to let go.
Nice Share David...I can relate to the "Sometimes I end up wondering why I ever bother" Been feeling that some lately.....I work to suppliment SS and it isn't enough.....with ptsd I can only "handle" so much Mental stimulation and then I get tired..have to rest..its only the mental end...hell I can swim all day...out run most 30 year olds, play tennis and beat people 1/2 my age......but the "experience overload" taxes me big time....but ya know, i just go one day at a time, literally, and I say if life can be so hard , it can also ease up.....if life can turn for the hard, it can turn for the easier....so I plug on......and IF I can get quiet enough, Maybe my HP within me can tell me where I am going....I know coming back to program was my first step to getting things better..........very NICE share, :)
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hi, David. I feel all those ways some days, too. Fortunately, life has a way of rooting me out of it all and I forget it. Some days, life has had to blast me out of it. Most days, I'm just glad I'm not having one of those days. And with Al-Anon's help and other things, too, I'm happy to know that I have made progress although its been slow. There was a time in my life when most days were one of those days and I didn't want to get out of bed. It's been years since I've experienced those times. Thanks for helping me add something to my gratitude list that I don't think I've realized until now.
Thanks for reminding me that the key to my recovery and to the 7 TH Step is to become" Humble". Difficult for me in the first year or so of recovery because I "Knew it all"---- So much easier now that I have given up my "God Complex"
Life has shifted for me- I am willingly waiting for the pension- in 2 or more years time- but am working and getting dug in to work part time for another ten years.