The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I got a pressure washing job yesterday that included doing the roof. It was in really bad shape with mold and mildew all over it. The chemical I use allows me to wash a roof with very low pressure so as to not damage the shingles, but it also makes the mold and mildew real slippery. I have all the equipment to secure myself properly so I got my body harness out, a very big strong rope and tied it off to the other side of the house so it would hold me while I was washing the roof on the opposite side of the house. The roof had a very steep pitch to it (45 degree pitch). Once on it, ready to get the job done, the roof was so slippery from the chemical treatment that even with the body harness on, I could barely keep my legs under me. I decided I would work the rope and harness and get myself back to the top of the roof so I could go down the other side that had not been chemically treated yet and that the ladder was on. I got to the top, and straddled the roof peak with both legs, like riding a horse, and suddenly I was gripped by so much fear that I literally froze on the very top of this house. My legs were literally hugging this house on both sides of the roof and my hands were holding onto the peak of it, and I could not get myself to move. Frozen. This had never happened to me before. Not a good time for an anxiety attack! I felt it coming on though. So, I just sat there pretending I was enjoying the scenery from the top of this house, when in fact I was scared to death and paralyzed with fear. This house is in the country. No neighbors any where in sight, so far off the road that it can't even been seen from the roof top, and the homeowners were not home, they were both at work. So, I'm stuck like chuck on this roof. I come up with the idea that to get off of it, I'm going to have to use my cell phone, call 911 and get the fire dept to show up and get me off of it. Shaking like a leaf, I slowly reach for the pocket I keep my phone in and discover it is not there, I left it in the darn truck! So, I am just stuck, glued to this roof top, embarrassed at myself, that I would even have to consider calling 911 to get off of it. Well, in this situation, the only thing that I could do is pray.
I talked to God about everything and anything, I am guessing but I venture to say that this prayer lasted about 45 minutes to an hour. The fear was slowly lifted enough that I was able to finally start working my way down the safer side of the roof to the ladder, and finally my feet were on the ground again.
I sat in my truck, thanking God and re-evaluating what I was doing and how I was doing it. While still shaking a bit, my phone rang and on the other end was my son. First time any contact was initiated between us in 7 months. We spoke for a few minutes where he made it very clear he was very sorry for having jumped the bond I had made for him, getting him out of jail just before Christmas and putting me through all that mess. He wanted to know if we could get together and talk sometime face to face. He asked what I had been up to lately and I told him about the roof experience I had just went through before his call. He just listened and said, "where are you at? I want to come over there and help you." I told him and about an hour later he showed up. The rest of the story can be read at my post titled "Spent time with my son yesterday". I couldn't write the whole story in one sitting because my laptop keeps shutting down as I'm writing so I wrote it in two parts. Please read the other post to get the rest of the story....
John
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Isn't it amazing how God can be found exactly where we are... at any given moment. I love how your guardian angels surrounded and protected you through the ordeal what a lovely testament.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross says there are two natural fears that we are all born with - the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All the rest are taught. Primal fear kicking in up there for you maybe? Glad you got down. You've had enough illness and pain to last more than 3 lifetimes. (((John)))
Your description of sitting on that roof is hysterical but at the same time I know that horrible fear when you realize an anxiety attack is coming and I can put myself right there with you and know it was anything but funny at the time. hope you can find a medication that get them under control. I couldn't function without mine and would be happy to give you the names of what I take.
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
Elizabeth Kubler Ross says there are two natural fears that we are all born with - the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All the rest are taught. Primal fear kicking in up there for you maybe? Glad you got down. You've had enough illness and pain to last more than 3 lifetimes. (((John)))
WOW....Grateful has a good point here...I had heard, too, that falling was a primal fear...dunno why, but I am terrified of heights....By talking and sharing w/Creator and angels, you calmed yourself down enough to regain your control....I guess by sharing, not denying and accepting your fear, talking, allowing all that energy to pass through you, that is what I think happened...U managed to release this pent up energy ...and your HP within you was able to come through.....That was gr8 about your son wanting to get together with you......U deserve goodness and I am so glad your heart is open to that
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
