The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone. I am fairly new to Alanon. I started in January. The F2F group I attend is wonderful. There are a several people in my group just like me, new to Alanon. The group is small. Therein lies the problem. Several of us in the group have all said that we need a sponsor to work the steps. It is part of the Do's of Alanon. Do get a sponsor. When I ask the few people in the group that have been in Alanon for awhile, I get the same response, "I don't feel comfortable being a sponsor at this time". It is quite frustrating because I feel I am missing a critical part of Alanon. I know my AH could walk into AA today and find several men ready, willing and able to be his sponsor. Suggestions???
If your meeting is small with many new comers it is understandable that you are unable to connect with a sponsor. That is the reason it is suggested that we try different meetings before deciding if alanon is for us. In addition to keeping up attendance at your home group , I would search out a few different meetings and attend.
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Many meetings have" call lists" ( list of members who will accept alanon calls) as well as a list of members who are available to sponsor.
Lois W.'s definition of a sponsor is "a trusted friend". You can talk over your situation with someone who knows the AlAnon principles. A lot of people use the group as their first sponsor. If you feel you can trust the rest of the people in your group you can all sponsor each other within the group. Or you can use them quietly and talk to them after the meeting.
Relax and enjoy your meetings. Get the most out of them. The sponsor will come when it is supposed to happen.
Newcomers are not going to be comfortable being a sponsor....that happend to me when we had an al-anon meet in our area
what I did was to surf my boards, read the posts, watch who is saying what, who felt safe to me, who I could relate to etc.
then I asked..If I got turned down I didn't take it personally, I just moved on down the list....I have turned down folks b/c at the time I didn't feel that I was a good fit or had too many distractions to do them justice... AND I have even said no b/c the person was unwilling to work the steps and inner child work....
I did inner child work on me b/c my parents were alkies and so I developed survival skills that no longer serve me now...I had to go back to my origins and figure out where this started...this "keep going back to alkies" defect in me came from....drunks were my comfort zone...it was all I knew....it was familiar....and familiar at early stages of my recovery and b4 was better than the unknown, even if it was healthy....
sorry, I got off the track....I just surfed the boards and found sponsors that way....It worked for me.....Also maybe there is a bigger meet near you???? On line sponsors are not so bad and we called each other on phone adn that worked fine for me.....Just a suggestion
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
