The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Even though I had a great visit with my son and church service on Sunday was great.. and recalling what my son said "mom go be happy" I still have fear. I am trying real hard to work my program and pray to my HP.. Why am I having set backs ???!!! Just so confused and emotional..
its going to take some time..take it one day at a time. don't be fearful. Be confident that your HP will go before you and will not leave you. be not dismayed. (paraphrase of Deuteronomy 31:8)
Setbacks are part of life, we are human and by the time we find this wonderful program have endured years of pain. Practice, it may never make us perfect but day by day it will make us better.
You've been through a lot. Pretty much like having your son go through a near death experience and now he is still recuperating. Feelings are not to be feared. Feel them and move forward.
When I feel that fear, I notice my thoughts are of the future. Of course, I'm afraid. I'm not present to what is. I have learned that focusing on how my body feels, the cats are behaving, the trees' stillness, the scampering of squirrels, the dust on my nightstand, how soft the carpet feels under my feet, the whirr of the air conditioner or furnace, the sunshine, moonlight or whatever else is in "my hula hoop" at the present time helps me come back to what is happening rather than what could happen. Then, I'm at peace again.
I know the feeling. I have good days and bad. I am grateful my son is in recovery in a dual-diagnosis program but I still fear for the future. What if he relapses once he's out in the "real world"? What if he can't find a job? The list goes on.
When I have these thoughts and start projecting into the future, I say the Serenity Prayer and ask God to watch over and guide him.
