It's ok to be selfish in recovery. What is jumping out at me is who is telling your mom what meetings you will be attending? as in if you go to another program, she will go too. how will she know? for years I gave others all the information and weapons they later used against me. when i sat being hurt, it finally hit me, i was the one telling them Everything and I alone gave the ammunition. try to put the focus on your recovery, not your moms. In my experience, however, Kathleen, lovingly speaking and focusing on me Only. when my mother used to drive me nuts and I used to judge her to no end, I was surprised to find when all the things I saw in her began to heal in me, we got along much better. go figure .. they didn't bother me anymore because they were healed in me. i thought my mother and i were exactly alike; what i realised is we learned to React the same. todayi love her to no end, but it wasn't my doing, it was higher power's grace and healing through many, many meetings and much stepwork .. hang in there .. focus on you if you can ! you deserve your own program. It's much better to take the next right action than to say nothing and waiste the meeting time by giving her all your power. Take care .. Much serenity to you !! Please don't misread my motive in typing this. I recognise much of myself in this and again; my experience only that may or may not bring you a little extra strength and hope. I had to recognise too, if it was good for me to make changes, in truth, it really was good for them too.