The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Realized she was drinking after my adult stepdaughter took her to the grocery store. First thought was "ughh"... but then thought "ok she is drinking... what are you going to do" I decided to look at her and realize the mental pain she is trying to numb and the disease she is suffering from instead of thinking how it was going to effect me. I made a point of being kind to her while remembering my own boundaries. I prayed for her and remained in control of my own emotions. I let go of her problems and even more important I let go of my own and let God lead me. Even though she was drinking... peace remained in my mind and in the house. Thank you for listening... writing it down makes it more concrete in my mind.
Yep once was a time I thought detachment was abpout this, that, or the next person. Now it is about me and my peace of mind- it gets me through a lot... -D.
There was a time in the not too distant past when one of two things would have happened. I would have unleashed my anger and frustration on her or I would have stuffed those feelings in the interest of peace. In both cases I would end up miserable,depressed and hopeless. This way certainly feels alot better. Thank you all for your wonderful support. Coming back here and seeing these responses means more than I can say. May God bless you all.
You've been taking and working the suggestions and ESH and it's working for you and for her. Great share on example...I'm grateful you brought it back. When you do it this way she has no distraction from facing her problem and the solution. Practice, Practice, Practice and gets better beyond your wildest dreams. ((((Hugs))))
Sounds like good use of tools. Of course, I played the "I'm in so much mental pain" card for a long time. I didn't need compassion. I needed a kick in the ass. However, your serenity is the point so whether it's that kind of detachment or detachment in the form of other boundaries, whatever works! You did work it and that is a good thing cuz her drinking and acting pitiful is not under your control.
Yep once was a time I thought detachment was abpout this, that, or the next person. Now it is about me and my peace of mind- it gets me through a lot... -D.