The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You have made some good choices for yourself. I hear you and will pray you will continue to have the courage and strength to let go and let God Take care and let us help where we can.
(((( hugs ))))
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Saturday 13th of April 2013 04:13:17 PM
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
My A has been going through a whirlwind of mess of his own making. I have pretty much left him alone since he relapsed and continued with my own life. A detective from the police station came looking for him. I just said I didn't know where he was (which is true cuz i never know where he is) and I gave him my A's cell number. My A told me today that he had smthg important to tell me He said last week he had committed a misdemeaner crime and that he was afraid that he was going to be arrested and that when it happens for me to go to a bail bondsman to get him out. I said I couldn't and left it at that I didn't further the conversation. He said he would tell his brother to bail him out. I feel like I can't live with him anymore. I don't want to live this life of despair never knowing if he's coming home never knowing if he's cheating on me. He has his choices and he is deciding to drink, go to strip bars, and cheat on our marriage. I am chosing to not enable him in any of his BS. I also want to chose a life of some sanity and serenity. I have some hard decisions to make by May and I am leaning on my HP to guide me.
Stay with the program Texasgal...keep working it and trusting the program and your HP. Make the choice...do the thing. Like my sponsor told me this morning the process not the outcome is what is important. It isn't about winning (my desire) it's about doing and trusting. Let do that together. Thanks for the step up ((((hugs))))
Hands off is a much more simpler way to live. Your post sounds so much better and centered, good for you!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I removed myself and with the support of the programme I let the avalanche fall on him.
after 6 months and lots of pain he went back to AA
today I am back with him but he is sober working a programme. The hardest thing is when your drinker goes missing and may cheat, in my book it was to unacceptable.
Good on you for taking care of yourself while the disease is attacking him. Hopefully he will have enough self love to get help.
My only opion was to love me as my A couldnt he was to sick.
take al anon by the hand lots of meetings and phone calls and of course your hp hugs tracy xxxxxxx
While I know this is a hard time for you, I sense that you are a winner, a determined, persistent, and focused person. Stay close to the program, it never abandons you, nor does it cheat... and we will love you each step of the way as you find the freedom from the bondage of your AH's diease of alcoholism.
John
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Hi Texas, that mess is really hard to live with. I got all tangled up in it and always tried to fix it. You are doing great with detachment. You sound strong. There comes a point when enough is enough. I reached it and its not easy and I am still not sure it is always the right thing but I want mess in my life to be mine. I want to fix my own life not feel like an extra in someone elses show because that is what I have been for many years. Im 41 now and I am really out to be happy, I want things in my life to be the way I make them. I want to offer love, kindness and respect to the people I love but I cant do that while I am in their mess. I can only offer these things from a distance or a place where I can have peace otherwise my resentment and enabling tend to take over then before I know it im miserable and blaming others for it. Take care.x
Just wanted to send you a hug ((((texasgal)))) at this difficult time. You've gotten some good suggestions but the suggestion to make more Alanon meetings is one that I want to repeat as well. For me, meetings and working the spiritual part of my program more can definitely help me to feel less alone. Keep hp close, keep safe, keep coming back. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
TG, you sound like you are speaking more from conviction and strength. Yes, you are sad about all this but you don't sound as lost. This is progress and you need only keep doing "the next right thing" and reaching out for support until you are walking through the other side of this with your head held up high.
