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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Victim
Post Info TOPIC: Victim
gigi1


Newbie

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Victim
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Last night at my F2F i learned something amazing..

We were reading from a daily devotions book and it was talking about us falsely feeling that we are the "victims". I realized and expressed that I am the victim- because I  want to be. It is the dance I am used to!! Then i realized that it means- I am not the victim. I am in control of what I want my dance to be. So I can  not blame anyone else. Or pretend that any one but me is doing this to me...something for me to really meditate over. Do I want to get off of this merry go round, or am I actually falsely protesting and doing things to keep "paying on" the ticket on the ride ?



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j lancey campbell
PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Wonderful insight...I believe we all have a victim archetype within us and its job is to alert us to when we are being victimized or using the victim to manipulate others.  It has alot of power because we have learned to use it to survive; but when we recognize it, as you did, we can choose to soothe its power over us and make more empowering choices.  Well done!



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Paula
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi gigi
 
Thank you for your wisdom and honest clarity. When I first entered the rooms of alanon I truly believed I was the VICTIM and a Perfect person. I could not see my part nor could I own my hidden drivers (I had hide them so well).
PP expressed it so well. I too believed that taking this role gave me  a lot of power.  I learned to use this it early in my FOO to survive.  
 
After many meetings and working the Steps I could finally see my motives and my true manipulation and destructive behavior. They were right--- I was not a victim. The wisdom of alanon never surprises me and I did finally understand the alanon saying--There are no victims only volunteers. The Steps provided me with new and better ways to act and principles to live by
 
No more victim for me


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

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Great insight. I too was amazed with this awareness. It is empowering to know we have choices. Alanon keeps giving these truth gifts that take us out of the darkness bit by bit.x



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tortuga


Senior Member

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Thank you for this insightful share...me too a gave away happily the role of victim....if I had only known earlier...it's so simple actually

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