The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Is anyone having problems with entering the chat room, or am I the only one? It changes constantly and tonite was the worst. The room had a totally different "look" to it, and absolutely no way could I get in? What is going on with it? I'm really about ready to give it up. I really like the alanon group too, and it was great to see a lot of the people I had seen there a few yrs ago. It has been really good to have a "safe" place to go when one is feeling overwhelmed. It really has made a difference, but all of a sudden all these problems have "popped up" as to entering the chat room and it has become very frustrating to say the least. Well, anyway, I'm still dealing with the forgiveness factor in my relationship to the A in my life, meaning my father. How do you let go and let God? I think I am, then something comes along to bring another vivid memory and I'm all angry all over again. and I am no kid. My daughter will be 18 on mon. She has never known her grandfather, my dad. Many times I'm glad she didn't see him the way I did, however he has had a profound effect on my life. I wish many times I had never known him. Yet, he lives on, to torture me mentally, and emotionally. I try to detach, but you know how As know the right or wrong buttons to push...and he does. He knows what will get to me. And as much as I try not to let him affect me , it does, and the rollercoaster goes on and on...over and over. How do I not let him get to me? He knows me too well. And rents room in my head, because I let him in. Not sure how to get him out . thank you for letting me vent...kat
Your dad is your dad, you can't change that. You can't change what was..just move forward. Sounds like you have done right by your daughter to protect her from his behavior, so give yourself credit for that. As for him knowing what buttons to push, accept that as fact, and perhaps you will find a way to "deactivate" those buttons in time.
Hi Kat I use the MIRC to get in to chat and yesterday morning when I tried to get in it said my IP was blacklisted but when I tried later there were no problems. Just hit and miss I think. Just accept your Dad for who he is at this stage in his life he is definitely not going to change. The only person you can change is you put boundaries in place to protect yourself emotionally. Luv Leo xx
I've been having the same problems. Tonight I could get in but three min later I'd be bumped off. Try this link. It looks a lot different but you'll still get the meeting. You can adjust the font also.
I feel your frustration. I wanted to scream I need a meeting the other night and just couldn't log in.
Just a comment on your difficulties regarding your father. My experience is that no matter how "bad" a parent or figure the A plays in our lives, they bring to us something. It may take a long time to figure out what that something is, but I believe that it exists. We take from them trates that we may not even want to give them credit for because of how they were, but when we are at that point where we can accept that we did receive something from them that wasn't negative, we have grown.
Thanks for your insight lunamoth, Im still looking for that something. He was a terror to me growing up and I am still working on forgiving him...I did it once, and then after his behavior after my A brother's death by suicide, I have to forgive him all over again. I cannot even stand the fact that I am related to him, I hate when anyone asks my maiden name, because I do not want to be associated with him. If he would just admit or say he was remotely sorry for his actions, I believe I could live with this much better. I have a hard time detaching, because it is so deep in me. I have once, and I will again, I hope. after my brothers house is sold, Im sure, it will be easier, and I will no longer feel like I have any reason to contact my father..nor he to contact me...finally it may resolve its self. Meanwhile , its baby steps for me...ty.
