The material presented
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My AW is having a really hard time mentally right now.. I see alot of depression and thinking errors going on but I am frustrated that it always ends up with her being angry with me. Yesterday she woke me up and asked if she could take my NEW tablet outside so she could listen to music while she cooked on the grill. I told her I didn't want it taken outside where if it fell on the concrete it might be broken.. after all I may have to take it back to get the money... probably not but still need to be careful with it. She got really pissed and threw a fit about it and was angry the rest of the night. I started to react badly to her unwarranted anger so I decided to take off for a couple of hours to get myself under control and have to time to think and pray. I came back with a better frame of mind but it just pissed her off all the more. To my credit I gave myself the affirmation of my actions as necessary to keep myself under control and not let mutual anger rage out of control. She tried to bait me into fighting with her today about yesterdays stuff. I calmly stated my case that I felt my leaving at that time was the best thing to do. She stated that she didn't think our relationship would survive. I stated that she needs to get into treatment of some kind but that it would be up to her. I stated that I still loved her but would have to do it with detachment because I couldn't put all my emotional eggs into her basket because they would inevitably get broken. She didn't have much to say after that.
Bravo Dponlyme. I especially appreciate your description of all your emotional eggs - such a simple and graphic way of speaking the truth. My AH does exactly the same type of baiting and I will keep that basket image in mind next time. Thank you.
I understand, especially the 'needing to take a drive or a break' as I do that often. I do love your egg analogy and how they represent your emotions, that makes perfect sense. My AH tried to get me into one of his 'my way is better than your way' conversations yesterday and I just left the room. I get really tired of feeling like I'm 'less than' just because I have a different way of doing things or a different viewpoint. I always ask myself, "How important is it?", and it sounds like you kept a good boundary in your situation, as well.
