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Sitting here this afternoon doing nothing because I walked into the corner of the couch this morning and OMGosh my toes. Swollen, black and blue and hurts like H***. Hope I didn't break anything :)
So.......why can't the A at least text or send a email telling his mom he's OK. I know he must be quite out of it but maybe if there is a lucid moment he might think even a little???
Oh well.....I will let my HP know my feelings and maybe he can do something about it
Peace within.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
OUCH! I hate when that happens. Sounds to me like your HP is telling you to slow down and put your feet up. Rest, relax and take care of you Cathy. I know what it feels like, wondering why cant he just text and let me know he is ok...but sadly he is so wrapped up in his own head, either full of ego or full of guilt, or both, that he just cant think normally. Let go and let God. Sending you hugs and prayers.
I know how you are feeling....shame keeps them away from us I begin to tell myself that if I had just loved them more, then maybe, blah blah blah........I only end up hurting me when I travel into that hole. I have discovered that dealing with alcoholic kiddos is much harder than an alcoholic husband. Thank God I have the al anon tools, as I would probably be in a group home somewhere. Take care of your foot (maybe take a load off).
Well I can tell you that when my son was drinking heavily....he did not call alot, because when he was not drinking and maybe thought about his Mom, he wasnt feeling well with a hangover, and who wants to chance a call when you think your Mom might lecture you. On top of that he knew he wasnt living the right way and there was a twinge of guilt there. As I think back I knew that if there was an emergency I would get a call. All the other calls would just be BS or asking for money, and I didnt need to here that... I was working for serenity and peace....not something to upset my day. Just sharing some experience....take what you like. In support always Oldergal. So sorry about your toe, you didnt need that, did u forget your couch was there!...lol your in my prayers....
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
I can so relate to what you are saying and feeling. My son just got out of jail, after his court sentence to a 2 year probation. He got out two days ago and I haven't heard a word from him. Seems he only wants to whine about me putting him back in jail for violating the bond when he left the state and didn't appear at two of his court hearings.... the bond that I paid to get him out with. Like, "how dare you pay a grand to get me out of jail, leave yourself at risk of losing another 9 grand for me skipping the bond, and then have the nerve to find me and have me put back in there!"
I sometimes get really upset, or angry with that reasoning, but most the time I laugh at it, because I see the raw insanity of it, and the only thing a parent can do is either laugh it off, or cry for the lack of conscience the adult child has, knowing that whatever the reason for it is, it will only lead to or perpetuate more of the same behavior and outcomes.
I agree 100% with PP... I can't travel down that road that only leads to more hurt and results with me, my mental, emotional and/or spiritual condition ending up in that deep dark hole. I too am so grateful that I have the tools that Al-Anon provided me and that I can let go, let God and detach with Love.
John
PS. It really sucks when you hit your toes like that! I have done it a few times. Hurts so bad... I think it's immediate pain is registered by the brain faster and with more intensity than a broken bone on any other part of the body. I hope your toes get to feeling better soon.
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
If he does get healthy and sober, part of it will involve him growing up all over again and becoming an adult. Some of that phase will involve distancing himself from you like a young adult that's just gotten their own place or gone off to college. Even without him getting sober, you are breaking and enmeshed bond, it won't become healthy overnight and especially when he's still drinking. Most likely he's frantically searching for another enabler right now due to the status of his disease. When I don't hear from certain people, I force myself to believe "no news is good news" and leave it at that.
Even sober, I only talk to my parents about 1 x a month - that's just me though and it's also cuz they don't worry about me as much now.
Thank you everyone for the continued support. When your down just need to come here and all is better :)
My son is not going to get sober any time soon. With 8 grand in his pocket it will be a couple months at least before he has to worry about anything again. I can only pray he doesn't die before then. I know him and he will drink until he is passed out in some park or crashed on his bike in some street or store parking lot. It's terrible how bad he will get before I get the call he is in a hospital or jail.....
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
The only thing that saved my son after his last binge was when he locked himself out of his truck and had to stagger home to Mom & Dad.....he still had enough money to stay drunk for quite a longer but it was inside the truck...miracles come in ways that are least expected...lol
Hi Cathy, I'm sorry about your toes, sounds very sore. Remember he has a hp, his own survival instincts. That's the thing about alcoholics they think of number1 so he is prob in a warm comfy place. Put your feet up and relax, thinking of you.x
Well today I'm here at work and got a email with a link to a video. I was watching it and it gave me chills it was so beautiful and then I started to cry. I'm crying with sadness in my heart.
I guess we all need a good cry now and then.
Thank you everyone
Oh by the way I fell off the ladder too trying to get the beams clean so I am done. Cleaning people coming April 2nd to do the spring cleaning lol
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
My brother used to drink and use drugs for years and as his little sister it was nervewracking not knowing when he went out when or if he'd come back...I can't tell you how many times we had the police show up to our house so much so that at a car accident I was involved in the one particular cop asked how my brother was doing...how unprofessional and rude!! But I digress...it took my brother many years of being in and out if jail, rehab etc to finally get clean and sober which he has been for 4 years now. I'll be praying for you.
I begin to tell myself that if I had just loved them more, then maybe, blah blah blah........I only end up hurting me when I travel into that hole. I have discovered that dealing with alcoholic kiddos is much harder than an alcoholic husband. Thank God I have the al anon tools, as I would probably be in a group home somewhere. Take care of your foot (maybe take a load off
).