The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My soberAH and I live together but we are more like roommates than a couple. I am still living here cuz im paying off some debts and I should be out by April. I work two jobs and I sleep on couch. These past 3 weekends he hasnt slept at home. Last night he texted me a whole bunch of stuff saying that he hated me and that why did I have to throw him out the first time (when he cheated) that he was so in love with me and I had broken his trust and that he didnt want to come home cuz of my attitude and that why was I still at home being so clingy and that he was going to die soon cuz he had looked up his symptoms on internet and he was going to die. I texted him if he was ok cuz his behavior was like that when he was using. He texted back that he wishes he was using instead of living with me. Thats when I cried that was a low blow that hit me below the belt. I told him that he was just feeling mad and that I was not going to fight with him just so he could use the fight to justify his actions. I cried a long time after that I have a lot of mixed feelings I know his texts are a bunch of ramblings but his words hurt me. I know slowly im improvong my situation so I can break free but in that momment my self esteem and the little bit of love I have disappeared. I feel really bad today.
Aloha Texasgal and keep coming back...time to learn that expecting sanity from and insane situation isn't a good choice. He isn't the "Power greater than yourself that can restore you to sanity" as mentioned in the second of our 12 steps. I use to forget that my alcoholic/addict was an alcoholic/addict and thought I could get rational and sane responses from her. I never got those expectations fulfilled and wasn't suppose to. Stay with the program, God and sponsor. It is what works. Keep coming back...((((hugs))))
Thx. I guess I thought when he got sober things would change. And they did for a little while but then he cheated and ever since then niether he or us have been the same. I keep thinking the "good" guy will come back again but the only guy that keeps returning is the liar, cheater, & overall mean guy comes out. I will continue to go to meetings and put my HP above my soberAH.
