The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I guess rock bottom means something different to everyone, my AD has no job, no money, no car and blames me for everything wrong is her life and yet I was her #1 Enabler. She doesn't see she has a problem with alcohol it's everyone else that has a problem @@
I'm just slap worn out....
-- Edited by AngelicH57 on Saturday 9th of March 2013 02:08:25 PM
__________________
Nothing is more fatiguing than the eternal hanging-on of an unfinished task.
I was a major enabler to my son. I did it all for him so he wouldn't be homeless. Now I have learned is for many years I was giving him the ability to continue to drink without any consequences.
Yeah she doesn't have a problem because she is OK with all the enablers around her. She doesn't need to get a job, doesn't need to worry about a roof over her head. She can get by because somebody else will do it for her.
I know you love her very much and don't want to see her hurt or homeless but what you do is taking care of your needs. You need to not feel the hurt of her actions. Her ACTIONS. It only makes you feel better for a little while...then the cycle continues.
Well, I have found I'm not the one that needs to hurt. My son does. My son needs to suffer the pain to realize what his drinking is doing to him.
Time to stop the enabling. Time to stop the craziness. This is where Al-anon and this board comes into play.
Get the help you need so you will have some peace and serenity in these times of crisis. This is the best gift you can ever give your daughter.
Take care my friend....I'm so glad you here...you are not alone.
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Please be gentle with yourself. Live one day at a time, focus on yourself do not get too hungry , angry lonely or tired. Check out meetings and turn your AD over to HP.
I am going through the same thing with my son. She blames you because you enabled her just like my son. I rescued him from virtually all consequences his whole life and in a way i was to blame. I did this through my own fear rather than what was truly good for him. However, I have not been sane through living with my ex AH for years. I am gaining serenity day by day and I can see how our whole family have been damaged. I am letting him have his own consequences and it looks like he will go to prison for failing to complete probation. Sad price to pay but it is his. I have not stepped in to try and stop this, normally I would be making phone calls, lying, manipulating people all to get him away with this. I have not done this and I know this is going to be a difficult time for my family. I have to trust in my HP and my sons HP that this is part of his learning and his path and I have no right to interfere because that only makes things worse in the long run. Thanks for sharing.
