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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> What does AH mean?
Post Info TOPIC: What does AH mean?
DebLisa55


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What does AH mean?
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I'm going to try and make a joke before I vent.  Does AH mean alcoholic husband or asshole?

My husband was in a iop program, and he stopped going.  I probably had something to do with his leaving since I questioned some of the treatment center's procedures.  Sometimes I think I am an enabler.  So now he is free and tells me he will go to AA meetings.  He goes to a few but true to form, he comes home "buzzed" the other night.  I tried to go in our room and just go to sleep and wait to talk to him in the morning, but I can't so as usual we get into a fight just like all the numerous fights we've had.  I know al anon says to take care of myself and ignore him but how?  I want to stop the inevitable from happening - either a dui or accident.   You see, he has no problem driving.  I would like to get one of those devices where you have to breath in it before you can drive, but I could see him asking someone else to do it and they would.  So how do I ignore him and happily go on with my life? I want to go to a alanon meeting but we share a car so its a problem finding one when i have the car.   So I should find another treatment center for him?  I wish he would.  That would show me he really wants to stop.  I feel like a whiner but honestly I don't know what to do.  He needs to stop drinking - how?



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afglin


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ina nswer to your queston..it can be both of your guesses. Most peopel here use it to mean alsoholic husband.

My husband use to go to AA every Friday night and on the way home he woudl buy a bottle and drink it. Stupid. He'd call his sponsor and chat with a bottle in front of him and then drink it.

"He needs to stop drinking, but how?" If we knew the answer to that we'd all be rich. He will get sober obly when the pain of living with alcohol makes him miserable enough to want to stop. What can you do about it? Not a whole lot. YOu can pray he is safe. YOu can pray his HP whispers in his ear. YOu can step out of the way and allow him to feel the consequences of his actions. And while you do those things you can go to as many alanon and open AA meeitngs as you can. Learn abotu the disease. Learn to let go of thrying to FIX him and instead work on yourself.

I got better when I put the focus on myself and took it off of him.

LIN

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Lin
Cathyinaz


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((( deblisa55 )))

In the short 4 months I have been here and going to Al-anon I am doing so much better in the way I feel and react to my A. I have taken care of what is important to my heath and well being making it so much easier to accept what my A does. I can't control, help or make any decisions for him. This is for him to do if and when he chooses to.

If he needs a treatment center again, he must make that decision to go. You telling him doesn't help him at all. It only calms you to know he needs help. He has to call and make the arrangements to commit himself.

Let go and Let your HP take over.

Yes he needs to quite drinking but I can truthfully say your not going to be able to tell him to quit or help him do it.

Take care

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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
hotrod


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Dear Debbie
AH means alcoholic husband01 Living with this disease is devastating. I hear you and would like to suggest that although we are powerless over the alcoholic we do have power over our own lives and responses. it was at alanon meetings and by reading alanon literature that I finally learned how to take care of myself while being kind and courteous to my AH.
I am so sorry that you cannot get to face to face meetings and would like to suggest that you check our on line meetings which are a great help when you can not leave your home
Our Current Meeting Schedule is:
(Morning Meetings)
Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time
Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern time

(Nite Meetings)
Mon -Saturday 9PM eastern time
Sunday 7PM eastern time

You can point your web browser at us at any time and join the room for general and supportive chat.
http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html
Good Luck and please keep sharing



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
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