2.))        "Blaming the family" often appears in disguise.

a. For instance, many mental-health// marriage counselors say they 'understand' that alcoholism is a primary disease and 'understand' its dynamics in the family... but then go on to 'explore' with that couple, "what makes him drink".... even though the counselor just said that he 'understands' alcoholism.

In the counselor's encouraging the couple to 'search for what makes his client want to drink'' .... i.e., ''what are the stressors that 'trigger' his wanting to drink''-------- the alcoholic welcomes this approach because he knows that this will lead right to blaming his spouse--- overtly and covertly.... this time, with the professional stamp of approval from the counselor.

*** Basically, a 'gang-up' between the alcoholic and the counselor to blame the non-addicted spouse.

(See the video on this website--- in it, I talk about a couple who saw the 'best marriage counselor' in their State..... who heard both of them talk...who saw that the husband was a still-drinking alcoholic... and who heard and saw the wife's frustration and anger... and who then admonished the wife with this------- "Maybe he wouldn't drink as much if you smiled more.")


b.)) If any counselor says that one must explore 'what makes him drink'----- he does NOT understand alcoholism.

He does not understand that the alcoholic drinks because the Yankees won, because the Yankees lost, and because he's bored because the Yankees didn't play.... i.e., there is no 'reason' for the alcoholism other than it's a genetic disease that will manifest at some point if the alcoholic starts drinking.

And the alcoholic will continue to drink, telling the family and himself that "he drinks because x and y and z happened."


c.)) Counseling sessions like what was just described diverts from prescribing that (as A.A. says) no one ---- no one ---- no one ---- 'makes him drink'. That he drinks because of biochemical cravings because of his genetic disease-------and that if he does not stop blaming others for his drinking, he is in grave danger of dying or going insane from his disease of alcoholism.

In one fell swoop, this type of counseling damages both the alcoholic's chances of survival--- and inhumanely continues the alcoholic's years of blaming the family.


d.)) This kind of marital//alcoholism//couples counseling these days usually goes by the name of "family systems and/or cognitive behavioral" approach, which almost always consist of sessions where "both parties" tell what they each see as "the cause of the drinking" ........ with the therapist also saying that yes, hereditary/genetic factors are ''part of'' the cause of alcoholism---but that other issues ''factor in'' (like "marital problems'').

This approach by the therapist necessitates the sessions blaming the spouse for drinking and relapses.... even though the therapist often denies this. He will often say, instead, "both parties have a role in the family dynamics"... which means that he really sees alcoholism NOT as a primary disease that has its own dynamic regardless of outside issues, people, or situations-------- as A.A. says-------- but as the result of mental-health issues.

This is just gobblygook that has been going on in the mental-health profession for decades........but this time, under the guise of promoting itself as "understanding alcoholism as a primary disease''.

They never used to agree that it was a disease..........then, because of the huge success of A.A., they started to add that it is a primary disease.......but nothing in the approach of the actual treatment sessions has changed from the decades-long approach of the mental health profession, treating alcoholism as a RESULT of mental-health issues instead of the primary disease that it is.

e.)) In the A.A. Big Book, there are stories in the back section. In many of them, they talk about their families----and repeatedly state that during the drinking, they blamed their families for the problems in the family...but that once sober and sane again, they saw that almost all the problems in the marriage were a result of their alcoholic drinking.