Son is in the hospital in Phuket Thailand. Our friends visit, speak to the doctors, and to our son. Son doesn't like the third world hospital. Big ward, shared bathroom, change your own sheets if you can get some. No food unless someone brings it in. Too bad. He is bleeding internally. We don't know the results of the ultra sound or endoscope thing. 

We were looking at an alcohol rehab in Phuket, at a monastery. The doctor said absolutely not. It won't help because the doctor thinks he is bi-polar and the drinking is to self medicate. His mood changes. He drinks. The more he drinks, the more depressed he get and on and on. We have heard this before at 2 rehabs. Both times he started meds and then stopped because he felt fine and therefore he doesn't need them. So on we go.  Maybe they are right because he has long periods without alcohol. Then something happens. He doesn't get to work. He has no money. He fights with his girl friend and the drinking starts. It has been over a year since the  last bad time. I think

We have not had any communication with him at all. DH is much worse than I am. I am trying not to figure things out and find solutions. DH is making himself nuts by going over all the possibilities, almost all bad,  and repeating them to me over and over. I feel bad when I tell him to stop.

I never finished this yesterday, so here is today.

He started Lithium yesterday. He will be in the hospital in Phuket until Monday. He can't renew his visa which is up on the 16th. He has been told to leave the country. He cannot fly out unless accompanied. We can't leave him there. That means indefinate jail in Thailand. We can't do that. So off I go to Phuket next week. We will stay together in a small hotel for 6 days with enough Lithium to get him home. Then he will come home so we can evaluate the next step. As soon as we get home we will go to the ER for blood work regardiing Lithium. Then we will assess the situation, make a plan that he agrees to, and see what happens. 

Is almost dying alone, 11 days in a third world charity hospital, leaving the best situation you ever had, having a really nice woman not able to take it, losing all your possessions enough? Might this be as bad as it can get for him? Who knows. 

The doctor told him if he drinks he will surely die. Is that enough?

I am incredibly inconvenienced by going off. I am going to lose 6 days pay, plus all the travel expenses. My airfare is paid for with miles we might have used for a vacation someday. 

I will not be won over by him. He can cry. He can be sweet and loving. He can be nasty. He will be told, in Thailand, what the conditions are in our house. At that point, if he is not ameanable or thinks he has a better plan that's fine too. 

I am not thinking about all the possibilities, just what i said I would do-accompany him back to the US, offer help to get him going with meds and AA, offer him a place until he has a new plan. 

The good thing is that the sea there is so warm, the sun will be warm, no snow and ice, the food is my favorite, and maybe, by some lucky chance, my child will be starting a whole new journey, sobriety, temperate moods, and self respect. 

Thanks for reading my rambling.

Laura