Being someone with codepency issues and being in a relationship with someone who doesn't have either addictions or codependency sort of forces me to learn

I caught myself trying to enmesh too far, which caught me off guard because I did so well with detachment in my prior relationship.  This relationship doesn't need the same level of detachment, but in life we need some no matter who it is.  I found is someone I can trust emotionally .... it feels good and I suddenly caught myself back in the "its all about me" place. 

I was glad to recognize it, although it took me a month or so.  I caught myself in this head battle of "yes it means that" "oh you're being silly" and then I'd get emotional and I knew somewhere I was not centered so I wasn't talking to him about it.  I was fighting it myself but we all know how that goes right? Don't address the issue and no one else will know? NOT!  I was catching myself with the old patterns of little comments here and there, poor guy does so well with "ok I hear you, what's going on" instead of reacting.

Yesterday I went to my darker old place of withdrawing.  I woke up this morning and all my feeligns were just on the surface and I finally said 'OK WHAT DO YOU NEED?" because thats what this all boils down to.  When I ignore my needs, my old habits and controlling methods come to the surface in an attempt to get my needs met otherwise.  Always a bad idea LOL. 

I sat quietly this morning dwelling on my need(s), discovered them, set a boundary for myself (yes this one really was for me, it stops me from getting caught up in my own drama) and then apologized for my behavior, explained that I'd just kind of lost my head, and that what I needed was XYZ.

I'm glad to report I'm not beating myself up, just knew I had to gather my wits, stop reacting, figure out what I needed and act on it.  It really is that simple but I have to stay focused and not ignore those things.  It really was typical codependency behavior.  I have a need but I don't want to put that need on someone else, I'll just deal with it myself and then BOOM.  Oh look, there are my old friends: moodiness, passive aggressiveness and control.

I sent them packing and already feel better.