The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last week I posted "I want to see my blind spots"..it was really a prayer, so my HP opted the best way to get me to see (or look up) was to put me on my keister. I spent almost a week suffering because I put my well being in the mudpie of earthbound craziness with my arrogance and pride sprinkled on top. My(my is a key word here) recovery included being a lone ranger that tried not to look like a lone ranger. I did see that I was lonely, by choice, because I have been in al anon long enough to know I cannot recover alone, or just plain live happily, in my singular world, entertaining and indulging my illusions (one illusion is that I know best). I need others to help break my illusions/spells! So, as part of my 10th step, I admitted my wrongdoing to myself and took an action that has been waiting in the background for a very long time. I have longed for a church community, even typing this feels weird, as I have judged every church, taken their inventory, etc etc, however I have been sneaking in the door of one church that has felt good to me..one foot in and one foot out. What I like about it is it feels like a genuinely, warm community, which is what I want. I need an earthbound, bricks and mortar community, so I joined yesterday. This is huge for me. Not only that I joined the church, but it is a church that is different from the one my husband enjoys. Today, I celebrate my renewed commitments to my recovery with gratitude to my HP, all of you and my willingness to expose my boogars. Thank you for listening; phew for now....
Thank you for sharing your process . It is so rewarding to see how powerful working the Steps can be in recovery. Your honesty, clarity and humility are inspiring.
Such a wonderful share, Paula! One of our recent Al Anon meetings was on fellowship and 'belonging' and that is truly what I got out of Al Anon when I really committed to going. Yet, I still needed my church fellowshipping too so I joined a neighborhood Bible study and it's been a HUGE blessing to me. I get to share in Bible Study about how Al Anon has brought me closer to God(my Higher Power) and that I serve and feel worthy there. It has brought new light about people's preconceived notions about AA and Al Anon to our group.
I am so glad that you found somewhere where you were willing to put both feet in and make that commitment. Hugs!
Thank you for listening; phew for now....
That is how this program works Paula. It is indeed a fellowship of equals.