The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You know the whole if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have ANY luck .. LOL! Well .. I'm kind of dealing with that at the moment.
Well .. I DID file a report with the sheriff's department and I have court. In doing so I was let go from my job, I had to totally laugh. I think that this is really ok. Knowing what I know now kind of thing I am looking into what it will take to go to school full time and get an education while being home with the kids and finding something part time. I really really loved my job and it really wasn't personal. It literally had everything to do with how much time I have had to miss. I should have never tried to take on a full time job. I knew it was way over my head at this point.
You know the whole one door closes and another door opens kind of feeling that is exactly what has happened. I now have a much better idea of what I am capable of and it's not a bad thing.
I have a meeting with an advoate on Wednesday and then I have court on Thursday morning. This really is so much better for me in the long run. It's scary because I don't know how in the world I'm going to continue to meet my rent. No matter what it's going to be ok. I really am not freaking out so much at this point. The good news is that the STBAX is going to have money automatically taken out of his check. I won't have to worry about that. It got reduced by a great deal and he's not having to pay specific bills he was having to pay. I think I will be ok. The temp agency was very gracious when we spoke. I explained exactly what was going on and they did understand. I still am confused as to being told family first and being let go because I put my kids and myself first. LOL .. it's a LONG story.
Anyway, I'm ok the kids are ok and I feel like if this was going to happen NOW is the time for it to happen.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I am so sorry. I am worried about all of this affecting my job too. It's amazing how quickly your life can be turned upside down. It's also amazing how these problems we have can take up so much of our lives. It's exhausting! I wish you all the luck in the world. I am amazed at how stoic you are being. I am trying my hardest to stay strong for me and for my kids. It's hard. I hope you find a mother path that leads you to happiness.
Oh, dear Pushka, I am sending you a big (((((HUG))))) right now. You are doing the best you can at changing the things you can and giving the rest back to your HP. You will get through all of this! Good for you for putting your kids first in your life.
(((((Pushka)))))....practice, practice, practice and we get to progress...not perfection as you already know. I like feeling your confidence, faith and trust in this post...something I need more of, more of the time. Mahalo.
Thanks, I know some things really did need to change and I lacked the ability to change them myself. I slept pretty good considering what was running through my mind. I am still grateful I had the experience of working with some very very very wonderful individuals. They taught me lessons about life, myself and other people and dealing with them. I will carry that gratitude with me for many years to come.
Now that I'm awake, today is Tuesday I get to go to my regular meeting today and tonight. I'm going to read some alanon lit and figure out where I need to go from here. I have a TON to do on my list of things to get done.
I just need to focus on first thing first and keep moving from there.
He's going to make things hard I can already see that and now that he's starting to take a slippery slide in terms of verbal abuse more so than he used to, it's now threats .. it's now time to step up and do something way way different and something that I feel very uncomfortable doing. I keep asking am I creating a crisis or is this a natural consequence of behavior. My will God's will kind of thing.
I really feel like this is God's way of saying I need to take a stand and start saying STOP! Stop to everyone around me .. the atty's, the STBAX, it's time for me to really sit down and think about what my dreams are and what I want. I still haven't done my 4th and that is something else I'm going to start plowing through and getting through my next 4 steps after that .. I'm not ready to make nice really.
Anyway, .. thanks for being supportive .. taking a look at what is going on .. this is really for the best. Thankfully, I'm in a position that I can take a step back and say ok .. time to regroup and figure out what the next first thing first is.
Thanks, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
STOP is a great word. And, you can stay stopped for as long as you need while you work through things. You don't have to be ready to make nice, you just have to do whatever is right for you and for your kids. I'm sorry that you got let go. That's got to be hard. My sister is in an awful financial situation because of her husband's issues and overspending. They got the notice from the bank that they have to be out of their home by March 21st and neither of them have been able to find jobs, not even at Target or McDonalds. My mom was sending her 1200 a month to help(my sister stopped paying her mortgage last May) and put food on the table for the kids(6 and 1.5) and to pay the utilities, but my mom just got some bad news about her own financial situation and she may not be able to help them much longer.
OK, I'm off track. My point is that financial situations suck. It truly is one of my fears about being a single parent. I see my sister apply for food stamps, I hear her stories about all the red tape the government puts us through to get assistance, and it drives me crazy. How are you going to work full time and yet still have time to go to all these agencies for Medicaid and assistance? Crazy how our system works.
I'll be praying for you! I guess it's time for your plan B or plan C right? Hang in there, girl!
Good for you! And, when you start to doubt yourself. STOP! :) You are doing the right thing. Stay strong. Keep praying. Keep looking to your HP for guidance.
You are Working & Sharing a Wonderful Program Step Forward! All those Changes and still Walking Not Running... Good Stuff..
For me I have Noticed with all the "My Life" Drama's I have had to deal with lately, I'm settling into a Better Me! A More Confident Me, because I am Slowly allowing myself Worth! I'm Worth a Night out with a Friend I have not seen in 20yrs... I'm Worth a Night of Laying around in my Jammies, and Not Anwsering My phone ALL Day! I have No One to Answer to By Me & My HP... I think I'm Slowly starting to Believe it too.. And for me thats HUGE! :)
You have Showed Great Restraint, Courage, Strength, and So Much More, by Allowing "Life" to Happen, and Finding a Way to Just Roll with the Punches, and Go with the Flow as i'm always told in my F2F... Now when i get Overwelmed I Can Close my Eyes and Literally be Picturing myself just Letting Go Long enough to Catch my Breathe, Floating the River... It is So Refreshing, and Once I Catch my breathe, until I Know (or Accepting) HP is on Board... Then... First things First! :)
Thanks for Sharing Your ESH... & Your Journey, I Love to see the Program Work when you Work it ;) We Can't.... HP Can!
Not always Easy to Surrender, but when you surrender with Love it Truly Shows :)
