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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Victim
Post Info TOPIC: Victim
WorkingThroughIt


~*Service Worker*~

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Victim
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I cannot stress enough that we in 12-step recovery do not allow each other to be victims. If I sought out a marriage with an alcoholic or other sick person then I have to look at why. If I have family members who manipulate me I have to find out why. If I am constantly being manipulated and taken advantage of by sick people on the world I have to discover why. I needed God. I needed Big Book Steps to see why and what I could change and what I had to accept. I thought I could figure everything out and what I really needed in ally pain was to have my insides ripped out and born anew. If you're not afraid of a little hard work and you are wishing for the end, there is a solution to all your problems. See you at the Alanon Big Book Steps meeting tonight...it'll be good...the understanding of myself and the alcoholic but more importantly of myself....there lies in those rooms a Power greater than in any room I've ever sat in...there is a way out out.

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hotrod


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Well Said WorkingThroughIt!!!

"Working through it" with the Steps brought me to Acceptance, which is the answer to all our problems

The Steps are the Key to personal freedom!!!



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
el-cee


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i agree. we often choose to play the victim role in relationships. i think we do need to find out why. not why the alcoholic manipulates but more importantly why we allow it. 



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AStrongerMe


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No truer words!!! We cannot improve ourselves if we believe the other person is at fault. We become a slave to the other persons recovery or lack of it.

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pinkchip


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Changing my view of situations helped me to be less of a victim. Even labeling others as sick and manipulative was a problem because, as the alcoholic, it was usually me that was the sick one. That set me up to be a victim right there. I pulled for them to treat me like that so I had to step out of believing I was being manipulated and take ownership over how my own choices and actions elicited those responses from others. Viewing other people as perpetrators doing things unto me was part of me being victim also. I had to stop giving them that power and stop deluding myself that they were personally out to get me. I'm not that important that others seek to manipulate me all the time.

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el-cee


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Me too Pinkchip. When I feel the poor me's coming on I know I need to work the steps. I try hard to work on compassion and forgiveness and like you realising that people are not out to get me, I'm not that special, thankfully. Then like magic I'm free from crazy thinking.x

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Victim