The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i am new to this forum but not completely new to Al-anon. I have attended a few meetings when I was feeling at my lowest but then I convinced myself I didn't need it and stopped going.
My boyfriend is two years sober. I love him so much but have really struggled with accepting him lately. About 6 months ago he finally came clean to me abouth something that hard happened while he was sober. He had kissed another girl on two seperate occasions, two different girls. He works in clubs and that's where it happened. He completely broke down and it is the first time he has cried since being sober.
Anyway this weekend I did something terrible and now feel completely lost and scared. I went with some friends to hos club and got so drunk I don't remember what happened. I do remember kissing my male friend though. my boyfriend then sent me home in a cab. When he came home an hour or two later he found i had flooded the flat and was sleeping in bed. I had started running a bath but then gone to bed.
I feel so absolutely terrible and obviously have a problem with alcohol toofeel don't know why I did this cause its definitely not something I want to do. I only want to be with my boyfriend and I have no interest in any other guys.
My boyfriend is probably forgiving me but I have to show him that I can chatake and take the right actions towards change. What do I do? :(
I am scared that I have had this underlying resentment towards my boyfriend and that that's why I did this. I don't know for sure but I am scared of myself and it is not the first time I have lost control completely. I am such a terrible support for my boyfriend. He is absolutely amazing and it has been a struggle for him these past two years of leading his sober life. He deserves better than me but I really want to change now. I should probably start attending al-anon meetings again to see if it helps me figure myself out. I don't mind giving up drinking for him. I obviously can't handle it very well.
Would really appreciate some advice from any of you. Has anyone else been in the same kind of situation?
Hi Gemmas and welcome to Miracles in Progress--- you are no longer lost!!!
I am so glad that you have found a place to connect , share and grow in your own recovery. I hear your pain and concern. We who live with an alcoholic develop many coping mechanisms that mimic the alcoholic and need our own program of recovery. Al anon, as you know is one of those program. Here you will break the isolation caused by the disease and learn new constructive tools to live by. I am glad you re considering attending again.
I have copied two links that might be helpful in answering your questions about drinking too much. The AA board here is excellent source of information and the other is a link to a questionnaire" Are you an alcoholic"
If you like give both a try and please keep coming back here You are not alone
When people stepped on my toes sometimes I would retaliate.
There are many suffering codependent a in AA and many suffering alcoholics in Alanon.
If you want to find out if you are alcoholic, read the first 63 pages oa AA's Big Book and see if you identify.
