Another let down - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Another let down

Auntyaya · Senior Member

Ah Cathy-That "illusion" of control....we had some of it while they were little, and reliquished it, bit by bit, as they grew. Now that they are adults we have no control , and even though we see them making poor choices, horrible mistakes that will affect their futures, we MUST realized that as we gave them life, we must now give them their life to live..however they choose.

As a mother , with an adult son with drug/alcohol issues, I know how your mother's heart is breaking. I know that worrying myself will not change a thing for him, but only rob me of my life. Yes, it is hard..so hard. To say I feel your pain sounds so trite..yet, I feel your pain.

-- Edited by Auntyaya on Friday 11th of January 2013 02:02:22 PM

Annie1234 · Senior Member

I am wishing you luck and praying for strength.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Cathy

Stay in the moment, in the day, focused on yourself and program tools.

Remember "Do not project "and to "Let go and Let God".

A meeting and alanon readings will help.

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

DO NOT PROJECT "and to" Let go and Let God... :) Thank you
Al-anon tonight and Sunday.... also much much reading

Let go, let go, let go and Let God .... crying It's so hard to let go..... All my life I thought I had control so losing it .....it's like a death.

Path to Serenity · Senior Member

Cathy, walking hand in hand with you...son is just coming off another binge and this time it got ugly --- I got ugly...I have some drywall repairs waiting for me. I have yet to learn how to do what I must do in a kind/loving way.

(((((both of us)))))

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh man.... I'm sorry for you. Yes please walk with me and we can do this together..

(((( both of us )))))

imom · Senior Member

Stay strong! You can do it!

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Cathy and Path))) You're part of this family and you're not alone. Hotrod brought out some real practice keys...use them hard cause they won't break...Dont use the tools of "your old program" the assuming and projecting and second guessing...that comes way down the list now ...way way down. Up higher is Trusting HP, the Al-Anon program, the fellowship, your sponsors and your inner self. Change how you think about and see things...Change perspective...get another newer picture of the one you see that doesn't help. We also get addicted to the problem...doing the same things over and over again expecting different results...we do...Change your script just a bit...where you use to say "I can't do a thing" change it to "I won't" and look at the addiction piece that makes "I won't" habit and non-working. You can change just like everyone else here...it takes practice to create a newer habit...practice, practice, practice. In love and service ((((hugs)))) smile

Highlyfavored · Senior Member

Something I just read, from overeaters anonymous, I think. "I love you, I bless you. I release you to your own indwelling presence of God" I'm using this for my "troubled" love one today. Just said a prayer for you and your son.

Gettingitright!!

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I can so relate, we want the best for our Kids. I have built my hopes up too then felt so upset when things don't go well. My son has had so many opportunities that never get started. He has got such a fear of failure that he would rather not try than fail. I can't do a thing about this. I try to let him feel his own pain without adding to it by offering any opinion or advice. I also try not to fix it or make him feel better. Only since alanon mind you. Before I was right in there complaining, nagging, judging. Making it worse usually. Let go and let god.x

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Until you let go and not hear what he is doing, you won't be able to stop hurting about it. he is your son, of course you do!

If you don't want to hurt over his situation, then do not allow it into your life. You may have to set boundaries like, if you call just call to say hi. I don't want to hear about your selling things, or being sick or whatever.

Or stop answering his calls.

when i didn't have to hear about my ex
AH I did much better. You would too.

No way can a good mom like you not be upset by his situation!I mean I read it and I was!! We know the reality all too well about the A's in our life. Many of us have lost our A's to death from the disease!

You are doing great and your shares are not dumb. they are perfect. I am sooo glad to see you are still here!

love,debilyn

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