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It breaks my heart to have to go to court to prevent my STBXH from getting spousal support from me. After 30 years of marriage, we have to allow strangers (my lawyer and the judge- my AH currently has no one representing him) to make decisions about our finances. My STBXH looked horrible in court today. His skin color is yellow (most likely due to increasing liver damage) and he hasn't shaved in months. He looked homeless in court this morning. The judge is giving him one last chance to submit his financial documents that have been requested by my lawyer twice, and now mandated by the judge (or else he will have major sanctions (fines) against him). He has three months to comply.
He looked so terrible. This is a man who has his MBA and who has owned two different successful businesses until he let the bottle do his talking and now has lost everything. What a sad day it was today. I am relieved that he was not awarded spousal support at today's hearing, but I'm saddened by what our lives have become due to this horrible disease. I gave my worries and anxieties over to my HP today and had a long chat with my sponsor last night. Those are the things that got me through this morning and will get me through in the coming months. Thank God I have Al-Anon in my life!
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Tuesday 18th of December 2012 08:15:20 PM
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Tuesday 18th of December 2012 08:15:40 PM
Mahalo Green Eyes for the ESH...The situation does require tons of compassion. The disease wants and needs him in that condition and as long as he responds to the compulsion it will get progressively worse.
Dear God HELP!!! ...Keep coming back...in support. (((hugs)))
I know that it's hard and yes having compassion is a good thing, at the same time it is your life too. It is a true testiment how well you work your program and how far the disease has him. You deserve the right to be happy and to have a good life. It is sad that he's made decisions or maybe a better way of putting it is allowed the bottle to do his decision making for him.
Thinking of you during this time and so glad that things went well for you in court.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks, for all your kinds words. I guess I just can't let go of the feeling that I could have done something more to help him. He continues to deny that he has a problem with alcohol, so as long as he continues to live in his denial, I have no choice but to move on and live my life without him, painful as it is. We had a great run, my AH and I: three beautiful daughters, two adorable grandsons, and many wonderful memories. I did not want our marriage to end like this. We were great partners, until this mistress named Alcohol entered our life. I am so perplexed by this disease and the power it has over the ones we love or have loved so much.
I have watched a very dear friend struggle with the same issue of the what if's, .. what if they had done this, what if they had done that, what if they could have, would have, should have .. it's an unfortunate truth that nothing you could have, would have, should have done would have ever been enough.
You do have a lovely family and many memories .. I encourage my friend to hold on to those memories and still pray for her ex that maybe he can find his way out of the hell of his making. No one can breath yesterday's air and still live in the reality of today. Regardless of if he finally finds sobriety or not, .. you deserve to be happy.
Sending love and support, hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
