Sounds like a "go back to court" thingy and take a financial audit with you.  I worked with "Fair Honest and Just" as a guideline for my divorce and that worked out good mostly.  It took awhile and I stayed with it.  If you don't have money to pay the bill I don't know a court in the land that will tell you to print some.  You really cannot get blood out of a turnip....sorry that is an old metaphor what what you are saying.  I remember a time when a man didn't and couldn't get a woman's income at all.  Times have really changed.

Sound like a job for Higher Power....((((hugs))))

I guess I could swap ex husband stories with you but that would just be piling more negativity onto an already negative situation. 

Sometimes though, I find that my own anger can really be a catalyst for taking further action on my own behalf.  Sometimes I change my mind about accepting the unacceptable after I have a good cry then take a breath, get my thoughts together and ask for help from my hp.  I usually ask a person or two who aren't emotionally invested in the outcome for their thoughts too.  Other people can sometimes see what I can't because I'm just to deep in for my own good.

I had a money situation recently.  I posted about it.  It's money I owe and honestly stephanie, it feels like downright extortion. I would have expected more ethics from people in authority to make such decisions that govern fairness.  Now I know from this hard lesson that the only one who will ultimately take care of me is the god of my understanding and me (when I do the footwork). 

In my naive idealisim, I thought honesty would be enough. In this case it didn't mean squat. With that said, I still wouldn't have done things differently at the expense of my integrity, my recovery.  After the dust settled, I went in for another round.  I expected nothing this time, I went forward thinking they have told me no once, what's the worse that can happen being told no twice.  I'm ready. I still don't have the decision but I have no intention of treating their decision as if my very life depends on it.  That would make them my higher power and I've already got one and a good one. What I do need to wrap my mind around is what my sponsor mentioned to me last week.  She said she and I had something in common.  We both need to let go of insisting that life should be fair because sometimes it just isn't.   

When I know I've done what I can, I turn it over to my higher power.  Stephanie...even if you get stuck with this bill, you can still choose to have a good Christmas.  Hugs!  TT

I wonder how much you would get if you were on assistance with some food allowance? I mean why work anymore if he is just going to take that much. I don't understand what would make a judge do that I mean when you get some one garnished when you sue them you can only get like 25%.

Do you have an attorney? Can you claim bankruptsy. see if you have lawyer referral in your state. You pay a very low fee the first time you go.

I am not telling you what to do.  trying not to. just sharing options.

If you don't have the money, you don't. What is he using all that income for? should he not use it to pay the hospital? Is the bill in your name? Have you called the hospital and asked them about financial assistance since you cannot pay it?

take a breath, rest for a day. let it all go. when you are fresher, do what you can. that is all we can do right?

hugs,debilyn

Most hospitals have some kind of a pay by installment program.  Otherwise I am sure they would never collect on any bills. Is that possible with the bill you are looking at.

I have certainly been there and back with having all my stuff ripped off by the now ex A. He took it all, truck (which I paid for entirely) furniture, my good will and my health.  I really disliked him for a long long time.  For a long long time people had cautioned me that I was going to lose big time when I left him and indeed I did. Every single one of their warnings came true.  Eventually there was a time when I got to the end of the bleeding.  I did stop the escalation at a certain point.  I have defintiely been around the block with someone demanding things from me.  I have had to learn to say no and mean no and not remonstrate.  There isn't any point in discussing things with someone who is demanding everything.  I no longer try to explain, cajole, plead or wish someone is different than they are.  I do know that when someone gets demanding with me on so many levels I am going to put them at a great distance in my life.

I am so glad you have al anon to turn to at this time.  There is no question you are not alone in this dealing with financial devastation at this difficult time.  There is also strength in knowing other people found some kind of a solution to their issues.  Years ago my now ex husband demanded I pay him back huge credit card bills that he had run up because he decided to date several women when we still married.  Through an attorney I managed to find a way out of incurring that debt but it took letting go of some of the demands I had to get there.  I felt outraged that he would ask but the attorney was pretty clear that everything is negotiable.  I had to pay money I didn't have for that attorney but it was worth it to not be pulled apart by the kind of demands that some people make in a divorce.

maresie.

Thank you everyone for your ESH and kind words. I am no closer to a solution today, but I feel so much better. The very first thing I did was call the medical provider, but because my ex put the bill in his name (which he shouldn't have done, because the insurance is through my AH), I cannot set up a payment plan on a bill in his name.

And I wish I could afford an attorney. I, myself, am an attorney (although I am not practicing law right now...not by choice), but I do not work in courtrooms at all and have no clue how the system works. The sad thing is that if I try to go back to court to fix all of this, I have to miss a bunch of work. And when I miss work, I am the one who suffers. My ex gets his money from my paycheck off the top. So if I miss work, and make less money in any given week, it affects only me--not him.

Anyway, at the end of the day the most important thing is that I am feeling much better.