The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this site. I am attending my first al non meeting tomorrow at 12. My brothers is the A in my life and is currently in detox...again and wants me to puck him up tomorrow. I'm so worn down, stressed and tired. I'm one of only two family members left that help him. I have a family of my own and the guilt is overwhelming . If I pick him up he has no where to go no job no money and will be drunk again in less than 48 hours. Help.. What do I do?
What do you do? Exactly what you plan to do, good thinking!! make that meeting. and many more. At those meetings I learned the tools of coping with alcoholism and how to put energy into caring for myself. I needed a loving and active fellowship to show me how it was done.
At the meeting, you will have the opportunity to purchase our books, at my first meetings I bought two books, Courage to Change and How Al-anon Works.
You never have to do this alone, my friend. Keep coming back, it does get better (((hugs)))
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Aloha Cher and welcome to the board and the Al-Anon Family Groups;...Everyone...bar none...starts out as a newbie...what a blessing considering the alternative huh?
For me alcoholism is the most wicked disease ever visited on the human race. It is soooo cunning, powerful and baffling. I am soooo glad to have found the Al-Anon Family Groups when I did and then eventually made the decision to sit down, listen and learn from those who came into it before me. I am grateful beyond words and so let me pass on...get to as many meetings as you can in the next 90 days...get the literature and read it all...listen with an open mind, follow the suggestions and keep coming back!!! ((((hugs))))
Thank you for your kind words. I needed them. My first meeting was great. I'm not alone! To be honest the reason it took me so long to go to a meeting is if in went to deal with my brother I would also have to face the fact that my mother is also a alcoholic. She forwards all her problems to me when it comes to my brother. If she faces them I feel she will see herself and that's something shes not willing to do. I will pick up both books you takes about tomorrow. I'm excited to get back to me and my life. Boy...that sounds selfish.
The new picture will be jumbled, foggy and not clear and won't be seen in it's full perspective...that is just the way it happens with newbies. I came into Al-Anon 2 times...I won't talk about the first time but the second time I didn't know about alcoholism and didn't even know that I didn't know about it. We use to read the AMA (American Medical Association)'s definition of alcoholism before each meeting in order for me to know what it was and then know it was a disease...an incureable illness that if not arrested by total abstinence would lead to insanity and death. Stay new and take your time being new. Learn how to keep an open mind and listen, listen, listen...look for similarities rather than differences between their stories and yours and let us know how the first step hangs on you and then the second.
Were in this together...In support. (((((hugs)))))
It was like that for me too, this al-anon suit is going to feel a lil' itchy for awhile. it was a completely new way of thinking for me, the complete opposite of what I had always done and what came natural. Eventually a sponsor helped me to apply the principles. One day at a time, it gets better and better.
I am applauding your willingness!!!!! that's all they told me I had to provide. and you already feel better, woooHOOooooooo, I love how it works!!
-- Edited by glad lee on Tuesday 30th of October 2012 10:57:00 AM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Cher...taking care of you is the LEAST selfish thing. That is part of your disease right now. It feels selfish to engage in self-care. It's not selfish. It's healthy boundaries. Your Higher Power wants you to have a happy life in which you take care of yourself. You want that for your brother right? Why not for you?
This morning I feel pretty strong. The meeting is sinking in and I'm looking forward to a meeting Friday at noon. Your right it will take a while for this new way of life to feel right. Me first... Hum Sounds different but good. I am open to any and all advice. I need to remove the years of handling all the problems, guilt and anger. That's a tall order. Thanks again....
