The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks to all of you who responded to my post about keeping someone's anonymity in the workplace. Reading your wisdom and recovery made me feel that you had my back. Your encouragement is giving me strength in a uncomfortable climate at work.
Just to let you know, I did keep the person's anonymity and was not pressed to release their name. With that said, many many more coworkers had raised the same question and someone else on my own team was willing to attach their name to that question. No one was identified during the web conference with the question and still a clear answer was not given to the question but it was addressed. The disposition of employees is one of general disappointment with leadership because they spend a good amount of time giving us the news which is filled with fluff, very little progress and lots of uncertainty as to whether we will be keeping our jobs. People are fearful including myself. In a way, for all the angst I've put myself through by taking a position where I'm very underemployed; it serves me well now because I haven't been there long and my position is one that leaves me feeling less invested than some of my coworkers. It's a job, just that.
On the recovery side... living with an alcoholic or an addict has provided good lesson in not investing my happiness too heavily in the decisions of others. Yes, their decisions can impact me but I have choices as to whether I'll react or respond. This Alanon tool has been useful in my workplace at this time. Someone was walked out a few days ago who sat very near me. As someone who had their home ripped out from under them and the neighborhood literally watched her go, that old feeling resurfaced in empathy for the person who was let go and some fear for myself. Gratefully, I only played the old tape for a short time. My higher power has the plan for me not my employer and I trust that. And there's nothing like getting the rug ripped out from under you... to help you learn to be fiscally responsible so I've used more common sense in my spending since recovering with you. I also went to a job networking group last night to listen and learn and help to prepare myself for what the future might bring. Naturally, many people there were unemployed. It didn't make me more fearful. It made me grateful I have a job for now. I took a phone number that was offered by someone who heard I was working and thought I might be able to help her. That felt good for me in a way. Not much I can do to get her foot in the door in the company where I am but I do know how to look for work. We can maybe help one another feel a little better in current circumstances.
Well... thanks for letting me share with you. Happy Friday you guys! Hug! TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Wouldn't it be nice if the situation felt safe enough that you could post this share with the company...having the same trust there as you do here? It is so thoughful and truthful and strong...thanks I read it and it helped clear my mind and perspective for where I am at now regarding a situation and what I can do about it now and further on should I need to. Acceptance of the situation, the fact of it, is one of the major serenity lessons I have been taught in Al-Anon. Its done and the morality of it is never acceptable, the behavior...I am justified in not duplicating it because when I do the peace of mind and serenity are gone from within...I am back to unmanageable. I also am moving toward centers of assistance, positive ones and away from those that verify retaliation and struggle. I am grateful for being able to be here, Tired and to have your ESH to fall back on. Mahalo ((((hugs))))
I can relate very much to the quagmire of the job expectations and unclear directions. I have been working part time at a retail store for coming p to 3 years now. In January I badly needed more hours and they didn't deliver. Instead they gave them to one other person on the team who in turn played expertly on my disappointment and anger. For me that is such a core issue, how to deal in certain situations where there is so much at stake. I have deescalated so much of that down now. I expect very little from my job beyond a certain number of hours. I walk the minefield of rivalry, gossip (the place I work at is run on it and disappointment (my efforts are rarely if every recognized ( a familiar feeling). I can most days handle this with detachment.
I have definitely been around the block on being in a company that was downsizing. In some ways it sounds very similar to what you are dealing with. There was this semblance of openess and the constant anxiety along with lots and lots of meetings by the group who were going to make all the decisions. I felt like I was in lots of double binds. At one point I asked if my job was in jepardy which was answered by a downright lie. These days I would not be so naive.
I think its great to be in a networking group. I also think its pretty typical to think of helping othes when you are indeed in need of help. I am a person who can so much more easily look for a job for someone else rather than look for my own. When the company I worked for was downsizing I did not network, did not interview (well at anything that could have got me a job!) and didn't really take it seriously. Next minute, quite out of the blue my job was gone. I managed to negotiate two weeks as a transition but that was it. I felt absolutely blindsided. One of my peers even got really mad at me because I continued to give 300% up to the minute I walked out the door. I think I was still waiting for them to reconsider.
Hug! TT