The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit too. I guess my main concern is that I don't know if my expectations are off. I've been worried since the first time I called her in a crisis, left that first crying MSG, and I never heard back. I have has a few little rough spots along the way and when I reach out she doesn't get back to me or I just get, "go to a meeting." this weekend while going over a step I realized how uncomfortable I feel sharing with her. As I looked up from my reading she wasn't even paying attention and what I read was only about 2 min long. She didn't even look at me when I shared in a meeting this weekend. She just looked down and worked on a craft. It was a hard meeting for me too. I had been quite emotionally struck before I decided to share. It was one of those times I had difficulty keeping it together and i wish when I looked across the room I saw more than the top of her head. I a building resentments in response to my hurt. I feel rejected. She asks me to comets assignments but then doesn't get back to me on them, doesn't allow me time with her to give her my responses. I feel lucky if I get about 10-20 min on the phone with her weekly and that time is shared with her issues she wants to share with me. I have had a really hard week and I need some love and guidance. I feel lost. I'm confused. I could benefit from calling more peers from meetings but I want that one
I am just going to describe what it is like with my sponsor and I and it is awesome. I call her in a crisis she listens and if I have to leave a message it isn't too long before I hear back. When I need her in a meeting for support she is there and helps me to see things clearly. She nods her head at me and urges me to share. She has helped me find myself through the steps and I have never felt like she didn't have time or care. She is in her 80's and goes to every social event in the small town she lives, but seems to find time for me when I need her. I don't think it is wrong to have some expectations of her, but I would try to be honest with her and if she works a good program she can tell you her side. You said you are feeling resentful which is not going to help you work your program. Being a sponsor is a big undertaking for anyone. I again encourage you to have a open conversation and tell her what you stated here and let her know how you are feeling. I am sending you much love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
