Aloha Lislib and welcome to the board...lots of experience here and listening.  I don't have much experience like what you are going thru right now except for the enabling part...That use to be a career of mine from which I fired myself...you can to at anytime and not feel bad or guilty about it.  Focus on this piece of truth..."No" is a complete sentence...practice saying that until it stops being a foreign language.  One tool to keep the alcoholic/addict away from your door is a TRO  Temporary Restraining Order.  I use to help write those when others like yourself were being buggered by and/or abused by alcoholics and addict and other mean meaning people who just "needed" to come by and practice their insanity.  You're not as stuck as you may think when you have the ability and facility to reachout and ask for help as you are doing here now.   Hang on while others come up and give you support.  Practice "No"...((((hugs))))