The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
LOL Allie...Annoying Drama!! Thanks for the memories cause I've been there and done that too and the consequence was being asked to leave a meeting and as I reached the door was told with love..."Keep coming back"!! had to have been something in the coffee and I did keep coming back. Sponsorship helped alot and changing my impressions of elder female secretaries with silver blue hair. I've been had by my own hand. LOL If you keep an open mind you will find help. (((hugs)))
I was not asked to leave, but I could tell that many ppl did not appreciate my behavior. Same thing.
I am not sure I got the keep coming back either. Just, something like, "Allie, we are here when you are ready to work your program." I guess every meeting is different.
And my sponsor told me to listen. Sponsor told me to share, too, but to be mindful of how I do it and why. I don't trust my own voice, online or otherwise. I annoy myself! I really do. It could be from dealing with the alkie environment as well; can't please anyone anywhere.... lol.
thanks,
Allie
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Alanon is about self-care, not caring for the alcoholic.
It is very important to share your thoughts, your feelings and pain. Living with alcoholism had caused me to loose my voice. I choose to make myself and my needs invisible in order to keep the peace and people please. Sharing on here and at meetings helped me to regain my voice. and myself.
Listen and learn is a great tool as well. I would share my thoughts and then sit back and "Listen and Learn" by truly identifying with others.
Some amount of "venting " is okay, but you ideally go to alanon to get better and folks will challenge you in that direction out of caring not cuz they are judging or annoyed. Newcomers enter the program in a lot of pain. Some sob or just spew out the hurt for weeks until some bit of living in the solution dawns on them. You are right where you are supposed to be. Just share honestly and from the heart and you will be fine. You need to share...especially in alanon because if anywhere should be a place for you to be more assertive about speaking up for yourself, it should be alanon.
Listen to pinkchip & hotrod's replies to you. You need to share & listen. Keep coming back & speak from your heart. I too once was so confused & had no voice & was scared to talk because anything I might say or do might not be the right thing. I still get really confused at times & am still learning & re-learning
Once again I am back on step one re-doing all the steps & had to set some really tough boundaries.
Just a few days ago I made a mistake & posted something I should not have posted. I don't know what I was thinking where my head was at. Someone was kind enough to point it out to me so I could apologize & not do it again. So don't worry hon , we all make mistakes & that is how we learn here in this group & in Al Anon
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Icie
"Holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die..."
Hi Allie, I just read this thread then went back and read your first post. I don't think you said anything wrong. Frankly, I don't think you said anything that at least one of us on these boards haven't said or thought before. When people first discover Al-Anon, they are sometimes scared, angry and desperate. We have all been there!
Only by reading, going to meetings, sharing, etc. can you learn how to work the program. We all have the drama you mentioned. These boards are a way for us to connect and help sort out that drama.
Please don't be discouraged about posting here or attending F2F meetings. Each one of us has a unique perspective, we all bring something different to the table. Including you!
Take good care of yourself and keep coming back. Hugs, November Sunflower
