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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> The Moving Truck Just Left
Post Info TOPIC: The Moving Truck Just Left
TrudyS85


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The Moving Truck Just Left
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Well, his stuff and half our furniture is on its way to his new apartment. Of all the times I thought about this day, I never thought I would be this sad. Part of me is relieved, but the other part just feels like a failure. No one dreams of this day when they walk down the aisle. I am trying to remember the good and the bad right now, of all the reasons why we need this separation. Our life had become miserable, he had become unbearable to live with, and the chaos that was my daily life. I know I must focus on how peaceful my home is right now vs. how lonely I feel right now. He says he will show me he can be the husband I deserve, but he is only a month sober and I just don't think I can afford to be hopeful. Just sad today, posting to all you who understand always helps. Thanks for listening. Ts

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ts85
hotrod


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((((Trudy))))

Glad you shared this with your MIP Family

Stay in the day , in the moment  and know this too shall pass.

In my thoughts



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Pushka


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Hugs Trudy,

Some days are truly min by min vs day by day. Break it up as you need to, and yes it's hard and it hurts.

You only need to focus on you and your own recovery and let him show you actions long term vs words. Words are just that blah blah blah, actions scream louder than any words can do. The best case is when it's words associated with action.

I can so relate, I was just there 8 months ago. It really does get better, some days are better than others especially in the beginning. Be very gentle with yourself, it's a journey with no straight lines to the destination.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
canadianguy


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Tough stuff Trudy, but I firmly believe in the old adage "if there is life, there is hope".....  Even the fact that he is "saying" the right things right now, is a positive.....  Maybe you can find your way to a "guarded hope" as in, hope, without expectations...

Now is a GREAT time for you to dive, full force, into your program of recovery....

Thanks for posting

T



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
denro


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Trudy, stay the course, take care of you, show up.

The promise is in time it will all look and feel different.

Guaranteed.

God loves you and is looking out for you and your AH.

Dennis
(denro)

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Breakingfree


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Oh I remember the first days of aloneness, but I dove into my program and finding healthy outlets and it got me through, oh yeah and my meetings and sponsor and MIP! Sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Jerry F


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((((Trudy))))...next meeting you're at focus on that part of the closing statement that says..."If you keep and open mind you will find help..."  that was the first Al-Anon miracle fulfilled for me.  I wish that for you also.   (((hugs))) smile



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Debilyn


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Trudy the reason Al Anon says take one day at a time, his disease is none of my business, to detach from the disease and more is this.

Hon sure he can get on a recovery program. But relapse is part of recovery. Meaning most all A's relapse and will go right back where they were when they started sobriety.

So the first sentence is vital to believe, not just know. He is an A he will always be an A. Whether he uses or not, can we accept them how they are, and learn to love them no matter what?

I read here all the time, he is in rehab, or he is sober. Then the A uses and the Al Anon member acts surprised! I just say, he/she is an A. Its no surprise.

If he is not going to meetings, not in rehab, does not have a recovery program he is white knuckling, stark raving sober.

He means he can do better, he means it when he says he can change. The problem is with out those skills he cannot. Same as us needing Al Anon.

I don't and did not have any expectations. I learned to love him if he was drunk, sober, on program not on program, whatever. No surprises, no expectations, no fear he is totally in HP's hands.

We of course want them to be on program becuz of their health and hating so see them hurt. However, for me, learning to love him as is, hope for the best, but also having serenity from staying out of his disease was and is priceless.

Hugs hon, I agree with others. Take a breath and use your senses to look around and feel that atmosphere of quiet, no tension, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast, not having to make dinner, washing your own cloths only....ah serenity can show up in the simplest things! love, debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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