The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Did you know there are now studies on happiness? There are even classes on it in colleges.
I learned that compassion brings me happiness. Lately I forgot. Even though it was hard, doing the animal rescue and rehab was hard, I was happy when I was doing it. Being so involved and centered in that ONE situation, totally immeshed, made me happy.
Also when I used to walk all over my home town with a friend or with my dog friend, well or both, I was happy. All we did was look at peoples houses and yards. See how the season was changing, We wished we could see into peoples back yards, that was where the truth was! lol the key was it was all we focused on.
We need to work on our happiness. Many things we do actually change us physiologically to give us the chemicals that make us happy! For instance my son is a master fly fisherman. When he is fishing, that is all he thinks about, all that pleasure fills up his body not unlike cocaine. Natural chemicals we can give ourselves make us happy.
Giving is a huge one too. Volunteerying or just walking down a country road and picking up garbage. Helping others clean up their yards if they no longer can,visiting people at rehab homes, geriatric places. there are some wonderful stories out there.
When we are excited about something, that makes us get happy chemicals inside. I love meeting a new dog, new pig, other people who love animals like I do. I get lots of joy watching little kids, and adults who have not lost that kid in them!
You know how little kids are happy all the time? They have more of the parts of our metabolism to take in the happy actions that give the happy chemicals! As we get older we lose a lot of them. So this is why we must work on being happy.
Ok this is what makes us in Al Anon work so hard to encourage others to find what YOU love and do it. Stop worrying about the stupid eggshells between you and the A and walk on your sandi beaches. Meaning if they gripe about the food you make, heck with them, lettem make their own.
If you want to go away for the week end, A won't go, go anyway, take a friend, take your dog. Once I took my two big dogs and my pet pig Willie! stayed in a neat hotel too!
We can teach ourselves to go alone and have fun. I am never alone, people have a tendancy to come up and talk to me with an animal or not! I think it is becuz honeslty I smile all the time. You know when I am sad/sick I feel bad going around people. I feel ugly. weird. Anyway again it is a mattter of teaching ourselves how to be happy,even though we choose to live with the A.
If mine did not become horribly abusive from brain surgery, I am sure he would still be with me.In many ways however I do better without him.
Anyway I invite you to find your happy, whether it is sewing, building a new shelf, or putting a log bed together, or visiting someone to help them. Tell the disease to get lost, we don't have time to put up with its bolony, its a freaking downer!
hugs, love,debilyn
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Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
I believe that finding "Happiness" is an inside job. I found my happiness by letting go of all the negative attitudes that I had developed within my mind, heart and soul. This was not easy and took time and working the Steps
Alanon suggests that I let go of gossip, judgement and criticism. and make a daily asset and gratitude list. Once these practices were part of my daily thoughts I found that HP replaced the negative responses with compassion, understanding, empathy, acceptance and love.
Each day the joy I find within, accompanies me regardless of what I must do.
Thanks for the post. I have been really struggling finding my happy since I had my EXABF move out a few months ago. The things that used to bring me happiness no longer do. You have given me something good to think about instead of my sorrows.
I choose happiness today with my attitude of gratitude. I have a lot to do and am glad for these things and I will even fit in some self care into my day. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the daily struggles and forget to take care of ourselves. Animals are so amazing and it's definitely a joy to help take care of them! I remind myself of this when I'm picking up my dogs poop during a walk :)
Your post reminds me of my unwillingness to be unconditionally happy. With a codependent personality, I cannot get better unless I begin to acknowledge that.
In al-anon, I keep working to give up my "conditions" for happiness.
-- Edited by glad lee on Tuesday 25th of September 2012 02:15:31 PM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.