The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My sister is an alcoholic (in denial) She drinks and then writes me mean, horrible emails.this has been going on ofor 12 years, since our mother died. Sometimes, the next a.m., there is an apology e mail...often, not.(we live in diff. parts of the country) I have just taken it, until now. I called her and left a message (she won't p/u the phone..only calls back when SHE wants to talk) I told her I loved her, (about 3 time) but that she HAD to adress her alcoholism problem...that she was losing family and friends due to the mean e mails (Her 2 oldest friends are not speaking her due to emails)I know she is mad because I used the "a" word and didn't call it her "drinking problem" etc...
This was about 6 weeks ago.. no contact...I know that I have to set boundaries (thank you AlAnon!) but I am feeling badly. i am planning my daughter's wedding and feel such a hole where my only sister should be involved and excited...
Your email to your sister sounds kind and truthful. You were respectful, said what you mean, and meant what you said. You did not threaten her or call names, you did say her "Alcoholism "and not her drinking problem and that is merely a choice of words.
If your relationship with your sister is one in which she can and will support you while you are planning the wedding, I see nothing wrong with calling your sister. You can simply say that you miss her and would like her support in planning the wedding.
Sounds like there might be other problems going on in addition to alcoholism. Firing off hateful emails then apologizing...blah blah blah...my aunt does that and she has borderline personality disorder. I guess I just echo what Betty stated. Don't doubt yourself. Communicate with your sister and if she acts crazy - well that's her problem.
If there is a personality disorder, the alcohol just makes it worse,right? And,I would assume that the alcohol problem would have to be addressed first? Although she sure doesnt seem anywhere near doing that...
