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So this is my first post here - haven't even had a chance to read other posts so sorry if I'm duplicating anything that's been posted before... But I'm in need of some advice regarding at-home medical detox. My mom is starting a medical detox at home on Monday, and I've got no idea what it entails... We're not exactly on speaking terms right now so I can't ask her - all of my info is second-hand, so I could be entirely wrong, but what I've been told is that she'll be taking valium to help with the withdrawal symptoms, and another drug similar to antibuse that will make her ill if she drinks. And that's all I know. I'm sure it's hard for anyone to give me input with such limited info - but if there's anyone out there with experience in anything like this, I'd appreciate any sort of input... I could give some backstory but I'd be here all night...
Detoxing from alcohol is dangerous and should be medically supervised. At home detox is tricky because the person detoxing is responsible for managing the meds and at the same time can have access to alcohol in the home. Drinking on top of the Detox meds can be fatal. I hope your mom will have someone staying with her to support her efforts.
Speaking of support, I would like to suggest that you check out the alanon face to face meetings in your community (look in the White pages) and seek help for yourself. We who live or have lived with the problem of alcoholism have been negatively affected by this disease and need a programof recovery. Alanon offers support and constuctive tools to live by.
I urge you to try our program and keep coming back here and sharing the journey.
I know that valium is one of the medications used however it is a dangerous process, especially if she's been drinking long term and or high volume. I agree with the access to alcohol - honestly it would be too easy for her to get it there. Is a doctor involved in this at all?
Thankfully, my aunt is coming to CT from NC to stay with my parents Sunday-Thursday, so she'll be there before mom starts, to go thru her hiding places, to keep an eye on both of them, and also to make sure mom actually STARTS the detox... she's infamous for finding any excuse to delay starting any sort of treatment. My aunt's a retired RN, and has a much thicker skin than my brother and I, so that's been a big relief. A doctor is prescribing the meds, and will apparently be available if something comes up - but this doctor is also as useless as "tits on a bull"... he's the kind that would put a bandaid on a bullet wound. I'm pretty sure mom hasn't been honest with him about how much she's been drinking or how long it's been going on (she was sober for 6 years, drank for 4 months, then stopped again, but has been drinking heavily since November this time around) - if she WAS honest, I doubt he'd allow her to do this at home. Last time she went into inpatient treatment, and still had a really rough time. At least I can take peace in my aunt being there... I was sick to my stomach thinking about her doing this without supervision. My father is pretty much out of commission - uncontrolled diabetic with extremely limited mobility and the beginnings of dementia. No way I could have trusted him to be capable of caring for her when he can't even care for himself...
Best wishes to your family. May this be the end for your mom. Do you and your family attend al anon? Such a difficult disease, hurts the family and makes everyone sick. Hugs and positive thoughts.
Mom *had* been attending meetings, but she stopped because she said she couldn't leave my dad alone for that long - which is crap, because (1) he's not THAT incapacitated, and (2) there are a number of people who were more than willing to sit with dad while she went. But she never asked for their help, and always refused their offers. I've never been to a meeting, but I think it's time I start.
I'm 36 years old - and it wasn't until I became pregnant with my son 8 years ago she sobered up. She did real well up until 6 years ago - and fell off the wagon for a short but, but was able to get back on track thru meetings and her will to stop drinking. And up until she crashed and burned in November, it was wonderful - after growing up with 2 drunk parents for most of the life I can remember, I had my mom - I had the friend I wanted, the caring mother I needed, and my sons had grandparents they could have fun with, spend time with. (Dad sobered up about 4 years ago after he almost died from internal bleeding) Now I've got nothing - I've lost my friend, my mom, my kids haven't seen their grandparents but twice this whole summer (in the past we'd be there all the time). I'm sad and angry and confused... I go from just wanting my mom back to wanting to pretend the whole situation doesn't exist. I can't deal with this anymore.
I hope this detox is a step in the right direction for her, but I'm not even remotely optimistic. This might get the alcohol out of her system, but it in NO WAY addresses the disease - it does not quiet the demon she's trying to drown. If she doesn't get the support she needs, she's destined to fail again. And there's only so much I can do. I'm still so damned emotionally raw - not only from this latest fall off the wagon, but because it brings back everything I grew up with, everything that I thought was no longer a part of my life.
It sounds like you've been through a lot, and I hope you'll weather this as well. I found a lot of strength in reading posts on this board, as well as attending in-person meetings. I've been going through occaisional relapses with my alcoholic husband as he starts (and restarts) his own recovery. I also grew up in an alcoholic home, and it's been helpful to keep reminding myself -'I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it' when I find things are starting to overwhelm me. Best of luck to you and your family through this difficult time.
I am glad that your aunt will be available during the in home detox. I is also important to understand that your Mom has been attending AA so she is familiar with where she can find ongoing help. Mmaybe your Aunt can offer ti take her to local meeting as she detos. Just a thought
I too grew up in an alcoholic home and understand the pain that you describe. I found that the old anger and resentments were still burried deep when I reached alanon and began to search my heart.
Alanon face to face meetings helped me address all the past pain and gave me tools to navigate this world in a much more constructive manner . I am glad you are thinking of attending and again maybe your aunt can join you.
Keep sharing It is important to break the isolation..
Sharing isn't quite in my comfort zone... it's easier for me to pretend that part of my life doesn't exist. By sharing it means that I have to accept that part of my life as a reality, and if I don't accept it, then I can cling to the memories and hopes and thoughts that I used to have... But I suppose that's all pretty normal...
Aloha KMC You made a comment about your Mom excusing her attending AA meeting using care of your Dad as the excuse. Do not let her behavior mentor you and excuse you from trying Al-Anon Face to Face meetings in your area. Al-Anon is in almost every country on this planet and your story isn't uncommon at all. We all share similarities in our relationship with the disease of alcoholism. The similarities are what help us connect and heal together. We listen to your share and we nod our heads up and down, up and down...we know...been there and done that and now its time to set it free. MIP is the Acronym for Miracles In Progress and if you read the number of post which come from members of Al-Anon you come to understand as I am reminded that Al-Anon is the tap root of the miracle. I hope you find the courage to attend Al-Anon in your area...you are not required to speak or pay...just sit and listen with an open mind. That is what I did. That is why I'm still alive. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
