"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

alcoholic son signed out of rehab. i'm ok...

debhud · Veteran Member

i don't want to get into too many details. son signed out of rehab. because i am blessed with this program, i am remaining serene about his decision. however my elderly parents who are very close to him are just devastated. i saw them age before my eyes. my mother just about cried as she is so upset. my father had this look of anguish on his face. they are not involved with Al anon nor do they want to be. they are enablers 100% because they really don't know any better nor do they have the tools to use. they really are sicker than he is. just venting....

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

Sorry to hear that Deb, but you're right... the enablers can definitely inhibit your A-son's willingness to get himself better - if he knows there is always gonna be a 'soft landing' for him elsewhere. It's like they go through on the show "Intervention" - it's so common that one person (at least) is the proverbial soft touch - not that they are the Cause of his addiction, but they certainly can inhibit his internal desire to get better.....

Would your folks be willing to at least read the "Getting Them Sober" (volume one) book?? It explains everything in such practical terms...

Take care

Tom

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

oh Deb that is a hard one. You are right, it is up to your son, he has to learn to make his own choices and live with the consequences.

For mom and dad, maybe they need to hear that you trust he will figure it out for himself. All they see is this young grandson who will always be young and a kid to them. It's hard.

Yes enablers break my heart for the A. I wished so much my ex Ah's mommy would stay the heck out of it. She finally went to a foster home. But then he moved right in with one of her friends. sick sick sick.

I like to tell people, "sometimes all we can do is love them." You cannot make them understand the truth. Its probably too hard for them to face.

Please take care of you, and love your son enough to allow him to make his own mistakes and prayerfully he will learn from them.

I have been there! love,debilyn

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"