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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I think husband age 60 has cirrhosis
Post Info TOPIC: I think husband age 60 has cirrhosis
Bevome


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I think husband age 60 has cirrhosis
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My husband has been heavy drinker/ alcoholic for many years. He is in complete denial about drinking and failing health. Symptoms are: Petchiae Swelling ankles fingers Nosebleeds Impotence no sex drive Gynomastia (mild) Trembling hands esp. Morning before drinking Dark skin Jaundice (dark /yellow red skin under eyes not eyeball) Spider angiomas on back of neck Bleeding hemmoroids Dry skin Itching Looks like pointed  mango bulging from right rib when lies down Sighs outloud  Gains weight Craves sugar When not drinking/drunk heis is alert,eats good,exercises heavy weights (age 60), loses belly weight,and certain symptoms appear better.... I am a bundle of emotions from anger to anxiety. I worry a major health episode will soon present itself. I worry his heavy weightlifting will put extra pressure on internal organs etc. He beleives hes in perfect health and therefore doesnt need a liver test. Hes been sober one week but i believe 100% he will drink on his next business trip. Any advice appreciated. Thank you.

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pinkchip


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Everyone needs routine tests done on liver, colon, kidneys, heart...etc. The fact that he "doesn't see a need" says it all. I will tell you that, as an alcoholic, I actively avoided the doctor for 10 years and only went to the ER when I busted my head or whatever. I was scared to know the damage and still didn't go until over a year and a half sober.

I knew it was destroying my health....similarly, I knew smoking was also destroying my health. Denial and rationalization as well as addiction make us do (or not do) some crazy things.

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Debilyn


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Even for him to stop drinking cold turkey like that is dangerous. From all you have shared, he already has a major health problem going on.

Sadly hon,I hate to say this, there is nothing you can do. nothing. It's like telling someone to go on a diet. It won't work unless it is totally their idea, they have to be ready to change habits.

We have to leave them alone, allow them the dignity to make their own decisions. You are very right in all you have shared. Sad thing is it won't help.

Even if you handcuffed him, put him in a lock down facility, if he wanted to drink he would figure out a way. Prisoners in prison make their own hooch! yuck.

The who needs help is you. At the end of my share here there is a number and site you can contact to find meetings in your area. Believe me they will welcome you. If you

have questions or concerns, ask us here.

come here as much as you want, ask what you want, vent whatever. Take care of you. I know it is hard. You sound very intelligent, so you may want to research addiction and read all the y's to what the disease is doing to him.

That does help some of us, did me. My bil died from cirrosis. He had been clean many years too. I loved that man so much. It helped me to understand what was happening. Getting Them Sober volume one is a great book, toby rice drew.

We can only control us, we can only love them. Its so very hard watching them kill themselves, believe me I have been there an in ways still am. If anyone could have made things different for their A I could have. I worked at it until I was sure I could do nothing. I had to as that is my way. I could not let go until I knew I tried everything.

Please keep coming. I honestly feel so sad for you both! debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Bevome


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Thank you for your kind and personal replies. It helps trmendously. I know I cant change him. I have said all I can say. At least he is on a "health kick" now and I do not allow him to drink in front of me. However he will drink on his next trip and behind my back. I better prepare for the worst and hope for the best. He is a very smart and loving man. I have never seen denial run so deep. Thanks again for your support!

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I think husband age 60 has cirrhosis