The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yep, another relapse. It went really well on my end. Short version is that I *know* instantly when he has been drinking no matter how much he has had. There is a certain behavior he exhibits that's subtle but noticable to me. He of course lied a lot and I was very quiet through the lying, I saw it more as a sad cover up than being angry with it. I just kept insisting he had to go, quietly and calmly since the kids were here. It was very little fanfair, just took him aside, was direct but calm and he did finally go.
I don't know where but he does have his own place as of yesterday. I will be cancelling my ticket for a trip to England we were going on with his family (he's from England). I can't go and risk this there. If I had a friend to go with I'd just find a way to make the trip myself but concerned if I'll get any of the ticket refunded since it's just 2 1/2 weeks away.
He doesn't want this disease and I know when he sobers up yet again he will regret this more than he can imagine. This time, I really don't think this is going to make it, this "us" thing. In the least I'm going to need a HUGE amount of time away from him.
I'm doing ok and my middle son has been visiting so I'm going to make the most of the weekend. I feel good because I trusted myself and I stuck to the boundary no matter what and it was a very calm event. The kids actually have no idea and I like it that way not for secrets but because they do not need any added things to worry about and they really care about him. I just told them he's got things to do this weekend and off he went.
Sending you a big giant hug. This had to have been a very hard decision to make. You have a wonderful program please keep taking care of you. Hugs p ;)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks Pushka. Sometimes though I don't want to be having a good program. Sometimes I just want a miracle. I guess I'm asking for the wrong one and it was hard, and I'm OK because I know I did the right thing but sad because the writing is on the wall and I just really don't feel like reading it right now.
