The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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So, I just had a coworker that I havent seen in a long time ask me what I was doing here. I was like huh? What do you mean? He asked why arent you in Texas? I said, "Why would I be in Texas?" He said "U and he arent together anymore?"....So, I guess exA has moved to texas. I think I turned several shades of different colors. Then, I went to the bathroom and bawled. Im stuck here at work, and cant lrave. I feel...terrible. Like my heart was ripped out. I had no illusions we would get back together. Im a little confused at.my response. I feel sick. Anyone else been there? Can I have a hug? :(
I'm so sorry that you got blindsided in that way. Don't beat yourself up about the response you have had .. good grief you are still grieving. It is all part of the process even if we logically know something won't work out it still hurts the heart. The heart wants what the heart wants even if it's not in our own best interests. It's not like you have been split up for years, we are talking weeks at this point and sometimes it's going to hurt just because it hurts.
All I can say is that you have great awareness to come here and post vs acting on the hurt. I think I've verbalized here that it's been harder being here than where we raised our kids together. The good times don't make the harder times any less real. I'm getting a better balanced perception of the situation. In the long run this is going to help you, facing the pain is so much better than hiding from it.
Keep coming back, another hug for the road.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I know the feeling of being sick at no longer being with the one you hoped would be a wonderful partner.
But I also want to congratulate you on not being in Texas. The fact that you separated means that the relationship was pulling you down into the insanity -- I know none of us separate from our A's for frivolous reasons. So you took care of yourself. If you were in Texas, you would be in the turmoil and chaos. But you're not. Yay for you!
I'm sorry you got this kind of new while at work. It feels creepy when people tell us stuff like that and we appear surprised. It's difficult when we've been so involved with someone and then there is this stark realization that they have moved on without our knowing it. I know my mind has projected all kinds of stuff like that the other person is having "perfect happiness" without me. When thinking more rationally, I believe everybody gets an equal share of good and bad times. My relationships that have ended, ended for important reasons. You have your life. Think back to before you were told that news, before you got that icky feeling. I bet you were feeling reasonably content, maybe even serenity. That's yours to keep (((CDK)))) Here.... take two (((((CDK)))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thank you so much. As always, your kindness warms my heart. I managed to finisn my shift. I came home and took a nap, and am waiting for my therapist to give me a call. I wish I could say I didnt act on it, but I did. I googled the crap out of him trying to...I dunno what. It got me nowhere, of course. In looking at the conversation itself, no where did my coworkee say he moved. Maybe he did, maybe he didnt. Maybe he was going to tx w his girlfriend, and my coworker assumed it was me. It doesnt matter really. It all makes me feel like crap. And the fact of the matter is...it isnt any of my business anyway. I think I only wish I knew because I live in a smalw enough place where I am bound to run into him someday. If he moved, that would mean that idea can calm down. If he hasnt, and I assume he has...it would be even more shocking to run into him. There is no way to know. Ughhhhhhe does still live rent free in my head. I have more work to do, I guess. (hugs back)
Yeah that happened to me also...I was hanging on assuming things and she was what...going on with her life...with the disease...just drifting away...any how I was still in the past and kept asking myself over and over "now what?". I was stuck until HP put me in front of a friend who told me the story about a man separated from his wife and wanting to come back home. My friend said that the woman told her separated husband, "I love you and I like having you here but I don't need you". It so affected me that I ran from my friends home and got 4 blocks away and pulled to the side of the road because that story had such a profound affect on my belief system. "I love you, I like having you here, I don't n e e d you". I was in the process of changing my own life and coming to the realization that how my life went and turned out was my responsibility alone and I didn't have to have another person there, all the time, in ownership in order for me to build and live my own life. I learned the difference between loving and needing on that afternoon and have practiced that ever since. Besides I do have a Higher Power who I rely on for direction and unconditional love. It really felt bad at the time and only lasted until it was over in a short time. Keep coming back...love him...let him go and go on yourself. ((((hugs))))
