The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have read for many years. Posted several times. Read everything I could get my hands on. I know that you will all tell me I need to find a meeting. I've tried those, at the time they didn't work for me. But I KNOW that is what I need. I am one of those people that has a hard time telling My A/BF "No" He is such a charmer and a manipulator! Sometimes I truley feel hate for him.
He quit drinking liquor all day long , now just an occasinally beer. But he is on all kind of pills. Injecting them! I have tried to just look at the diease. Now it's the lying. Been texting a 30 year old woman, she also comes to our home to give him pills. Or she gets pills from him. We have discussed this and I truley thoiught that I was handling it. But today he is texting away and I know who it is in my gut. And he says it is his son. Well I had to KNOW so I checked our account and sure enough 11 times today! Now he is out and back to town again saying he's going to get money from a guy who owes him money. Yep, he texted her again and out the door he went. Changed his shirt, Brushed his teeth (can't even remember the last time he brushed his teeth or took a bath for that matter)! Now I am Livid at myself for believing she is just a friend......
I need a plan B, and that's my next step and some meetings.
I did search for lying on the site and read some post, but I am still hurt and I don't think I will ever be the same. I know what I need to do.... Pray to HP for this to stop. Because I fear Insanity for me!!!
I'm so sorry. The disease is a terrible enemy. I had to do what gave me peace and that was end my relationship, end my dreams of marrying the man I love. But, the man I love was too sick to marry, and wouldn't do what he needed to do. I realized also that if he didn't lose me, if I stayed with him, I was helping him to kill himself. He had to lose me, not only for me, for himself. Have you read the book, "Getting Them Sober"? It was a Godsend for me, and this board, and meetings. I spend more time reading and on this board than face to face meetings, but the combination of everything really helped me to do what was right. It was right all the way around. Enabling someone kills them and destroys you. Like the book, you can leave for an hour, a day, a week, forever. You can change you mind and come back too. There are no rules. But, taking baby steps will get you headed in the right direction. You deserve so much better.
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Katfshh
~The most beautiful sunsets are made by cloudy skies~
sorry you are going through this tough time this disease is horrible and its very painful for all of us. You say you tried meetings and they did not work for you.
How many different ones did you try?
Did you go back 6 times?
Did youhear anything you could relate too?
there are lots of different meetings I was attending one for a couple of years then started travelling around now i have a couple of different ones I attend. at first most people feel like they do not fit in but if you just keep going all of a sudden you get an amazing sense of belonging. my recovery friends are now like my family. They ate the only people who undersatnd what it is like , they have experienced the pain I have. they do not judge me or tell me what to do, they just support.
I suggest you try the meetings again and try and stay for at least 6 meetings give it a faire chance what do you have to loose.
I was in so much pain today i am happy again but I had to get up off the couch and attend my meetings and when I did not want to go that was when I knew i needed it the most. i just keep going back and life is getting better and better.
I feel your pain. My AH didn't drink for 8 months, but during this time he was taking pills and smoking "fake" pot. It was financially and emotionally draining! Now, he is drinking again and not doing the other. Honestly, I can handle the pot more than I can the drinking. His behavior changes so drastically when he is an active drinker.
Don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know I feel you and sympathize with you.
The disease of alcoholism expresses itself in many different ways. Drinking is only the tip of the iceberg. We are powerless over this disease in all it's forms so our only chance at a healthy sane life is to to focus on ourselves and CHANGE our responses and Attitudes. This is not an easy task and alanon meetings are not social gatherings. We attend in order to support each other as we travel this painful road of recovery.
Learning to keep the focus on ourselves, live one day at a time, trusting a Higher Power takes time and energy.
Giving up blaming others and judging their behavior is critical to our well being The tools alanon offers sound easy but "walk hard"
Please keep coming back here and check out our on line meetings you are worth it.
